EXTREME shyness - TravelPUNK Backpacker College Student Budget Travel Message Boards!

CellophaneGirl · 03-01-2005, 01:23 PM

Well I'm sure this has all been heard before, but I am an extremely shy person about to go backpacking alone. Just wondering, how friendly are people in hostels?

I always get extremely nervous and sweaty when talking to people I don't know (although apparently I hide this well). I hoping this trip will force me to get over myself and be more outgoing and assertive!
I guess I'm just worried that I won't meet anyone. i absolutely cannot go up to people and start a convo, its too nervewracking for me. Unless I'm slightly tipsy, and I'm contemplating just carrying a flask with some hard liquor to take a swig out of every now and then haha. :P
So if theres a comforting word out there i'd appreciate it, and maybe any inspiring stories from homebodies who blossomed on their travels or something. Thanks!

**space virgin** · 03-01-2005, 01:53 PM

Don't worry-- if other travellers in hostels can't pull you out of your shell, no one will!

Don't freak out about trying to put too much effort in ditching the shyness, just let it flow naturally. I guarantee you'll make a bunch of new friends.

**voyd** · 03-01-2005, 01:53 PM

^^ I think you'll be very pleasantly surprised by EU and global culture. People there tend to be far more independent, looking to mingle and friendly with strangers. It's not like here where people travel in packs and look at you funny if you randomly try talking to them. There's less underlying hostility, defensiveness and snootiness overall, IMO. And backpackers in general will all be in the same boat as you - so even easier to befriend! Just stand tall, walk tall and have fun, kiddo!

If all else fails, be sure to carry a lighter and a small bag of nuts to "feed the animals" with.

**omisan** · 03-01-2005, 02:26 PM

I may be a bit of a nutjob, but I'm actually very shy and reserved in person - at first. I notice my shyness isn't as bad anymore, and it directly coincides with travel. Ever since I started traveling on my own a few years ago, I've come out of my shell. Something about being in another land w/ different cultures and social norms will set you loose... And following what SV said, if you don't do it on your own, the other 'packers will do it to ya!

If I start partying w/ some people at a hostel and see someone who looks like they'd like to join in but seems too shy, we'll invite them over and give 'em a few drinks. Seems to do the trick!

**kingcrazylegs** · 03-01-2005, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CellophaneGirl@Mar 1 2005, 03:23 PM
Unless I'm slightly tipsy, and I'm contemplating just carrying a flask with some hard liquor to take a swig out of every now and then haha.* :P

Sounds like a the true backpacking spirit!

**TheJake** · 03-01-2005, 04:31 PM

Nope. Sorry. You're screwed.

CellophaneGirl · 03-02-2005, 04:21 PM

Thanks everyone! If I meet people half as nice as you I'll be fine! =)

Do people tend to keep in good touch afterwards? As pen pals or something?

**TheWills** · 03-02-2005, 04:26 PM

please excuse jake hes about as juch help as a cold sore

Anyways, I kinda had the same problem Im not shy aorund my friends but I always thought it hard to go and start up a convo with people just like that, but then I was over there and I realized everyone is in the same boat, they wanna meet you as much as you wanna meet them, so I tried it one day I saw a guy eating alone and I went up there and saked if I could join asked him where he was from and I ended up traveling with him and his girlfriend and they are now some of the best friends I have even though they live in Europe and I live here. when your out drinkin and in the backpacker bars especialyl its just too easy to meet someone seriously all you do is say hi where you from and its on! You'll never get anyone to tell you to piss off it just wont happen, besides your a lady

so Im sure your gonna have more people apporaching you then you want at times!

Have fun dont worry and remeber if it dosnt work out with that person......you'll never see them again!

**TERI** · 03-02-2005, 04:45 PM

Hi everyone.
I'm extremly shy until the ice is broken. I always say that I have slight agoriphobia ( fear of crowds, an being in public alone). It used to be so bad that I wouldn't even go to the mall alone. Now that's pathetic!lol.
I'm packing europe alone as well, and am going to concur the shy problem as well.
So if I have no problem, then you should be fine.
My only concern is that I can see myself at a museum going "yay, now what?" Lol. I have a short attention span and need people around to keep me busy. Maybe I'll bump in to you over there and we'll see if we're still shy after travelling for a bit.

Teri

**U2fan** · 03-02-2005, 04:47 PM

Hey! Like everyone else said, you will be fine.

And really, the fact that you would even go on a major trip like this by yourself shows you are really adventurous and probably much more outgoing than you give yourself credit for!!!!! Seriously, I know people who wouldn't go 3 hours away by themselves

CellophaneGirl · 03-02-2005, 09:47 PM

Teri--we could definitely meet up!

I'll be there from about May 15 to mid July, the last month I'll be in London and going around the UK.

Thanks again everyone!

I've been dying to get out and travel, I'm finally going to live a dream! Well I've traveled before but only with family. Being alone, I'll be able to take in a lot more! :D

**Ozpacka** · 03-03-2005, 01:24 AM

Go for it mate... Your going to have the time of your life.

Im excited for you, and im stuck down here in the bottom of oz...

Go and get 'em tiger...

Leeroy

CellophaneGirl · 03-03-2005, 09:24 AM

Ohhh but I would LOVE to go to Oz! You're very lucky! =)

I have two uncles that live in Adelaide, are you from there?

Next year I'm hoping to make it down to Oz and New Zealand *crosses fingers*

**TERI** · 03-03-2005, 04:30 PM

Cello--g; lol sorry.
Yeah dude, I land in London July 1st. Then I'm touring in Ireland,Scotland, and Britain for probably half of July, then im heading south. So we can for sure meet up.

**Ozpacka** · 03-04-2005, 12:34 AM

Im closer to melbourne... Adelaide is a nice little city but.

Sooo, cum visit and stuff when your down this way...

Leeroy

**butterj** · 03-04-2005, 02:30 PM

You will be totaly fine, i was on my own all summer although im not sure as im sure a few will tell you, i did notice there are so many people on there own and lets face it everyone wants to talk and you will have so much in common with loads of them don't worry it will be great.

CellophaneGirl · 03-09-2005, 07:39 AM

actually leeroy its ok..you can be honest.

i talked to someone from sydney and they described adelaide as a shit hole. haha. not sure if its true...i went there once when i was a toddler. but i hope i'll be able to take you up on that! any time in particular when the flight costs are lowest?

glad i asked this, really feel better, i guess i had no idea so many people are over there alone as well!

Elmo! · 04-16-2005, 09:25 PM

CellophaneGirl, you sound a lot less shyer than i am.

I am thinking of going somewhere in the world alone for the first time (backpacking). I'm thinking about USA (New York) maybe?....

I'm out to discover myself more than anything...

It's very encouraging to hear all the positive postings on this board and it took courage alone just to post this message.

What would be the best place to backpack for the first time ever, for a shy and not so confident person?

Is USA really the place to go first? i don't know?

But this forum has enforced why i need to backpack alone. I owe it to myself and get out there and live life.

But where to go?
what to do when i get there?
how do i travel?
how do i even start?
and most important what to avoid?

i live in London , my heart says go my mind says what if and where?.......
But no matter what.... im gonna go for it one way or the other, (backpacking that is.....)

Any help will be most appreciated.

I can't just sit back and say what if i had travelled... I'd like to say "i have travelled and it was great!" and... "Whens the next trip?"
elmothegreat11@aol.com
im not so great, it's just an email address

Treat others as you would wish to be treated youself....
Life is not a game, it's a experience and more... Experience and live life as much as possible!