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03-09-2006, 01:57 AM
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#1
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TPunk Emeritus
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Leigh On Sea, Essex
Posts: 3,331
Thanks: 0
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So in honour of your birthday im going to relay my best joke....
A panda is on day release from the zoo. Like any good panda on day release from the zoo he is going to have a great day. So he decides to himself he is going to check in to a classy hotel and order some champagne and have a relaxing day without the constant stares from zoo-goers.
While waiting at the check in desk a cute blonde walks up to him and starts to proposition him. As the Panda hasnt had any loving for a while he decides what the heck im going to take her up on her offer.
They have a great evening where they have dinner and a few drinks and the panda seems charming and funny so the blonde decides to go back with him to his hotel room. The panda puts on some Barry White and they get down to the business....he eats shoots and leaves 
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I have two skins, one to lie on and one to cover myself with; the earth and the sky. (Masai proverb)
FANCY A READ...TPUNK BOOK CLUB CAN BE FOUND HERE
what goes around comes around
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03-09-2006, 07:57 AM
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#2
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The " ... " queen of TP!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Ontario
Posts: 2,946
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
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well...I dont really have many good jokes...that I can think of right now anyways, but...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
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~Laura
GO CANADA!!!!
If you walk backwards, you'll find out that you can go forward and people won't know if you're coming or going.
Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
-James Dean
Countries I've Visited: Austria, Botswana, Canada, Costa Rica, Democratic Republic of the Congo, France, Germany, Greece, Hong Kong, Italy. Malawi, Mexico, Portugal, Rwanda, South Africa, Spain, Taiwan, Tanzania, Uganda, USA, UK, Vatican City, Zambia
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03-09-2006, 09:21 AM
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#3
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TP Ghost
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 2,055
Thanks: 1
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happy freakin' birthday
__________________
My Flickr Stream
“Life is too short to spend it doing something you don't like... if your passion is selling surfboards by the sea, then that is where you should be.”
-My Dad
"Do we really want to travel in hermetically sealed popemobiles through the rural provinces of France, Mexico and the Far East, eating only in Hard Rock Cafes and McDonalds? Or do we want to eat without fear, tearing into the local stew, the humble taqueria's mystery meat, the sincerely offered gift of a lightly grilled fish head? I know what I want. I want it all. I want to try everything once."
-Anthony Bourdain
“If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar-playing, you will have some idea what popular Turkish music is like.”
-Bill Bryson
"The older I get the less likely I feel I will ever figure my life out... I think that might be okay though"
-Me
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03-09-2006, 09:46 AM
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#4
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Drifter in the making.
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Bubble, Ontario
Posts: 2,063
Thanks: 0
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Happy Birthday!!
(Just a little something Benna found in Cabarete, Dominican)
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I will not say that your mulberry-trees are dead, but I am afraid they are not alive. ~ Jane Austen in a Letter (1811-05-31)
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03-09-2006, 10:00 AM
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#5
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TPunk Emeritus
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Hanover, Ontario
Posts: 2,097
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post
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Hey MG I was going to post that for his birthday!! That's a restaurant you can buy...its already got a name...
Happy Birthday Steve!
__________________
"The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page." ~St. Augustine"
Come visit me in the DR!
www.sosuavacationrentals.com
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03-09-2006, 10:01 AM
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#6
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Don't cut the red wire...
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,419
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
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happy b-day, Steve!!! 
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"A bad carpenter always blames his tools!" - Grandpa Boris
Make war, not love! It's safer!
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03-09-2006, 10:06 AM
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#7
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TPunk Emeritus
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Here and there
Posts: 1,633
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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If I knew where you lived I'd come and give you presents (alcohol, pain killers, etc).
Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!
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Amber
"If I had a kid I'd f**k it. Then kill it. Then f**k it again." Seattle 2006
blog of travels and such
flickr
Currently located in HAWAII
Been to: Alaska, Bahamas, Canada, Costa Rica, France, Germany, Hawaii, Spain, Switzerland - - also meetups in Chicago, LA, and Seattle
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03-09-2006, 10:36 AM
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#8
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Minister of Offense
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: San Fran Disco
Posts: 6,528
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Happy birthday, you crazy, ether-huffing chef!
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03-09-2006, 11:21 AM
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#9
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T-PUNK VICE ADMIRAL
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Atlanta, GA USA
Posts: 1,313
Thanks: 0
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Happy Birthday fool! Pound a few brews for me!
Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we care!
Foo
__________________
"To Alcohol! The cause of--and solution to--all life's problems." -- Homer J. Simpson
"I didn't get to where I am today worrying about how I am going to feel in the morning." -- Ron White (Blue Collar Comedy Tour)
"I was born to lose and destined to fail." -- Mike Ness, Social Distortion
"Eat healthy, exercise daily, die anyway" -- My motto
"Everyone I know, goes away, in the end...I will let you down, I will make you hurt..." -- Johnny Cash (NIN Cover of "Hurt")
I am traveling around the world until I find something that makes me want to stop. I am an aspiring photographer and hope to find whatever it is I am looking for...
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03-09-2006, 11:49 AM
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#10
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TPunk Emeritus
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 2,298
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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03-09-2006, 01:01 PM
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#11
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TPunk Emeritus
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: From Aussie, but living in Canada for now
Posts: 1,789
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Happy b'day dude
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03-09-2006, 01:12 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: New York, NY & The Road
Posts: 1,447
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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__________________
Regards,
Matthew
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03-09-2006, 01:42 PM
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#13
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Backcountry Betty
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Coeur D'Alene, ID
Posts: 2,181
Thanks: 0
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okay, here's my best joke which i've posted on the boards before, so sorry to anyone who's already heard it...
a pirate walks into a bar with a steeling wheel hanging out of the zipper of his pants. he goes and orders a drink and the bartender says, "um, did you know that you have a steering wheel hanging out of your pants." to which the pirate replies..."AR, it's driving me nuts!"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
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people travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long course of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering. -St. Augustine
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03-09-2006, 02:30 PM
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#14
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Yoda
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Hell
Posts: 5,506
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! I hope you can get off the couch long enough to get completely plastered!!  On second thought... maybe getting up off the couch is unnecessary. 
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03-09-2006, 05:34 PM
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#15
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TPunk Emeritus
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Hanover, Ontario
Posts: 2,097
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post
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/\Completely Unneccesary!!!
__________________
"The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page." ~St. Augustine"
Come visit me in the DR!
www.sosuavacationrentals.com
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03-09-2006, 05:37 PM
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#16
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french touch
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Québec
Posts: 3,246
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Have a great one !
__________________
people are people
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03-09-2006, 07:01 PM
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#17
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***** gear guru
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 6,299
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
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Happy Birthday
__________________
all that is not given is lost
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03-10-2006, 01:00 AM
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#18
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Admin
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: spiznain
Posts: 6,581
Thanks: 46
Thanked 13 Times in 11 Posts
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03-10-2006, 10:36 AM
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#19
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TPunk Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 1,401
Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
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03-10-2006, 11:00 AM
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#20
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You want fries with that?
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Maryland... yeah, i know it sucks.
Posts: 2,230
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Thanks Everybody! You know this crazy mofo loves his TPunk family... and is currently nursing a wicked hangover/headache from last nite's Steve-A-Pallooza... ouch.
We all went to the Ropewalk in Baltimore, then somehow or another I made it back to the Phoenix, my old stomping grounds in Ellicott City and everybody there was buying me shots and beers and much of the evening became a blur... But needless to say, I've been told I had a great time :D
Anyway, I'm VERY fortunate I have today off... because somehow or another I'm more useless than normal... and have ample supply of strong drink and painkillers :D
__________________
Misadventures of a Crazed Kitchen Pirate
"Steve is the prototypical cool American male. Y'know, I'm talking about Steve McGarrett, alright? Steve Austin, Steve McQueen. Y'know, he's the guy on his horse, the guy alone. He has his own code of honor, his own code of ethics, his own rules of living, man. He never, ever tries to impress the women but he always gets the girl."
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