Hi,
I'm new to hostelling, and am leaving soon for my first backpacking trip where I'm staying in hostels. Reading around the boards, I thought I caught a couple comments here and there that suggested some people are having sex right there in dorms with other people in the room.

So now I'm kinda freaking out. It's not something I want to see/hear/smell etc... I'm not old fashioned and I've had my share of crazy times, but that kind of behavior seems beyond disrespectful and disgusting to me. Seriously I don't want to watch people fucking right in front of me when I'm paying for a regular night's sleep. :hunter:

I'm wondering how common that is, and how many of you have seen it (or done it if you care to mention it). Also what actions do people take usually, like do you tell people to stop or complain to management, or just put up with it as part of hostelling???

thanks

yes, people shag in dorm rooms, not too often, but it does happen. People are usually pretty quite about the whole thing though. I'm not too bothered by the whole thing, i just put my headphones on and let my music send me to sleep, it's all just part of hostelling to me, just like others snoring and people coming and going at rediculous hours is. If you're sharing a room with 10 other people you're bound to have your sleep disturbed occasionally.

I was in a room in barcelona and two guys where getting it on in the bed across the room

just glad I wasn't on the bottom bunk

So does this happen only in the mixed dorms, or in the gender-seperated dorms? I booked all my rooms as girls-only because I don't feel comfortable sharing a room at night with random men...I'm really hoping that the girls won't be bringing their random men in for a quick shag or something?

I'm surprised it is acceptable. That's such a private thing. At least to me.

It happens occasionally. *shrug* Honestly it really just depends on the hostel you're in, the people you happen to be sharing the room with and who knows what other factors (besides booze) are involved.

It's probably somewhat less likely in an all-girl dorm as opposed to mixed dorm. :) Try not to let it ruin the hostel experience for you. In probably about a total of two months' travel time I only noticed :torch: people getting it on in the room once.

If it really, truly makes you feel uncomfortable you could always say something to the guilty party, requesting that they take their activities elsewhere.

I just did a search on the issue, and came up with a great 3 page thread about it. Seems like yes it happens but is not everyday and is generally frowned upon. ALthough it also seems the majority doesn't really appreciate it but puts up with it as part of the hostle environment. Also, it seems very rare in all-girl dorms, as the girls who book all-girl rooms are more likely to be looking for an escape from all that.

I guess the older I get (28 soon), the more I want to avoid that stuff and am becoming more "stuffy". I bet 5 or 10 years ago I might have been that girl sneaking in a guy!

Now I just demand and give people around me much more respect and consideration than to ever do that or put up with it. ALthough i don't think I'd jump up and confront someone right then as that would be even more embarrasing for everyone.

I know that if I was having sex with girl and some "prude" got up and made a big deal about it I would just ask her to join ;)

but seriously you ar probably correct I would think that if a girl wanted to, or knew their was a possibility to, sleep with guys then she would not have booked an all girls room.

good luck with your travels and let us know how it all goes. :cheers:

The more people in the room, the more the possibility of sex taking place. Most people wont want to disturb thier roomates in a smaller room but with more people comes more anonymity and lowered inhibitions. Even in girls only dorms.

Although there are exceptions. In London I was sharing a room with 7 other long termers and everyone had gotten to know each other pretty well. One chick I had never before seen with a guy and I thought she was a lesbian. Then one night she comes in blind drunk with a guy. She gets naked, pukes in the sink, and then proceedes to have rough, prolonged sex for what seemed like hours. Different positions (tough on a bunk bed), full on grunting and moaning and everything. It was so absurdly funny I didnt even mind being kept up.

I've done it, but quietly. Usually thats the case. If it bothers you, go tell hostel reception. I used to have much good times as a hostel receptionist breaking up love chains. hehe.

When we were in Scotland there was a couple a bunk away having sex in the middle of the night - they were kinda quiet, but I'm a light sleeper.

well the other night i got woken up by my romemate giggling with her boybriednd, followed 1/2 and hour later by "ooh ohh oooh" and the sound of rubbing. (they thought they were being quiet but it was obvious what was going on.)
Not pretty i can tell you. so i left and had a nap in the lounge.

Generally here its assumed that it should be girls in the guys room not guys in the girls rooms, but it doesn't always happen that way (there aren't any mixed dorms here.)
If you are in an amourous mood and are in a dorm, consider having a shower. Its cleaner too.

Also if you see a single shoe outside the door, Don't go in.

Has anyone else come across the phenomena of "Shag Sheets"? that is, blankets and the like hung from the top bunk for privacy?

A single shoe? :blink2: Is that like, a hostle "do not disturb" sign?

Hmm.. I hope I can request a top bunk. Less likely to be assulted by random people's dripping body fluids. Gross.

Liar!!! :blink: :blink2: We were in a six person dorm in Krakow and stopped back in the room during the day to exchange some stuff. The first time I saw the girl on the bottom bunk, she was pretty much topless sitting in bed with the dude. This time, they were under the sheets (another bunkmate had been in the room for awhile) and they made absolutely not attempt to stop what they were doing, what just because three other people were in the mixed "dorm." :mf_tongue: We hurried out. :)

I'm not a prude either but agree it's really disrespectful. I agree with the shower thing!

Slightly unrelated, but I knew a guy who pissed himself in his sleep once in a dorm, he was on the top bunk as well...

I usually just turn on music and pass out. I don't recall ever seeing or hearing anyone have sex (but I only stayed in hostels a few nights). But back in college roommate hated me...and I wasn't even having sex....just having guy friends stay over.

I say just suck it up and listen to music. You'll live and maybe go home with some funny "He lasted like two minutes" stories.

I agree that it's really easiest just to ignore it, either by listening to music or leaving. ALso, tell me if i'm wrong, but hostels that have bars in them tend to have a) more people per capita having sex in the dorms and b)more people puking around an entire room. My poor friend woke up to a guy throwing up on his own bed, climbing down, and then puking on her top bunk as he tried to get his balance. it smelled disguisting for the rest of the night. apparently he also puked on this older polish guy who was on the bottom bunk, who slept right though it!

All in all, i think these things happen, but girls dorms will be a little safer from such insanity, but i;ve never sayed in one, so it could actually just be a group of lesbians having an orgy. (oh yeah, also a posibility, i was near 2 french girls going at it once). seriously though, you'll be more bothered by snoring than anything i bet!

One night in Dublin, I was laying in bed, slightly awake when I see this girl jump out of bed and go running off gagging. :) I just laughed (when she was gone).

Yea When I was in Berlin a girl that we went out with that night brought a guy home and they had sex with about 8 other people in the room! I thought it would really bother me but they were pretty discreet about it, surprisingly... almost everyone was asleep anyway, i just noticed a bit of movement in the bunk across from me... anyway... bring a cd player/mp3 player and put them in while you fall asleep... no worries


:party:

LOL :cheers: ahh good times

^ :lol: what's that mean kath?


yea, the couple that was having sex in the hostel that anthon and i stayed at in scotland, didn't even wake me up. i heard about it from anthon in the morning. this was my first and only hostel expereince and there were about 8 people to a room (mixed dorm). so i don't know if the ratio works out. they weren't even that young...like mid to late 30's.

i don't think it would bother me as long as people are discrete...not like the drunken barely 20 something guys and gals that think they're trying out for porn films.