How do you talk to people? - TravelPUNK Backpacker College Student Budget Travel Message Boards!

augentier · 12-26-2008, 05:40 PM

Apparently everyone here makes tons of friends when they go backpacking..especially because of hostels.

But what if you're kinda shy? I never initiate conversation with others but when someone approaches me I gladly interact. But..I'm not very approachable. When I'm not talking/smiling I look really pissed off (people ask me all the time whats wrong with me or why i look so angry) ..and Im not going to go around smiling all the time lest I come across as creepy...

Therefore social interaction is awkward and I have come to hate smalltalk because I suck at it.

So...how do you social butterflies get out there and get to know others? How do you start a conversation with someone you know nothing about?

**joe7f** · 12-26-2008, 05:51 PM

You play 20 questions: Backpacker Edition. You the "What's your name, where are you from, how long have you been traveling, what did you see today blah blah blah..."

I am/was kind of shy. Backpacking breaks everyone out of that shell so quickly. It is never easier to make small talk than when you are traveling.

You'll probably have people coming up to you to talk. Don't worry about it

--Joey

**The Sasquatch** · 12-26-2008, 06:32 PM

yeah, social interaction will def. not be a problem while you're backpacking. absolutely nothing to worry about even if you are shy. if you hang out in a commons area you WILL end up in conversation. its inevitable.

**AKguacamole** · 12-26-2008, 07:40 PM

I have the sam prob as you, and I've also found it difficult sometimes while I'd love to be meeting people. I would recommend spending time in the commons area a lot - and don't look too busy. Just chill. Bring something to write with or do with your hands, even a book, and if you're in a mutual meeting place for lots of people there's bound to be someone wondering whats up with you.

**mbo108** · 12-26-2008, 07:46 PM

Booze. I mean, hang out in the common room. But seriously you'll be fine.

**jengt** · 12-26-2008, 08:36 PM

I am THE wallflower (just ask Worldwidemike). When I went to Costa Rica last January on my first solo trip I was horrified that I'd be alone the entire time. It's amazing how easy it is to meet folks in a hostel. As others have mentioned, take a book, magazine or journal to the common area. Eventually someone will come up and break the ice. Or, you can too. I'm not one to be "out there" with strangers, but it's easy when you have a common connection - travel.

Don't worry...you'll be fine!

**raoulduke** · 12-26-2008, 09:16 PM

Meeting people overseas doesn't even compare to talking to strangers back home. Everyone else is there to have a good time and meet people just like you are so you won't have any trouble at all.

**travelpunk** · 12-27-2008, 12:45 AM

Good question, Aug. It's one that many people each year ponder as they head out on their journey.

Agreed with what everyone said. Sociable or non-sociable, every backpacker is in a weird headspace since you're all in a foreign place with a bunch of foreigners in often cramped quarters.

This type of travel often tears the barriers down of so many people. I see it time and time again. You'll see...

But like joey said, play 20 questions. A very fail proof introduction/ice breaker will be, "Hi, my name is..." (with your hand extended)

**mish99** · 12-27-2008, 01:44 AM

^^I never even got to the name part!

I was totally shy, and when backpacking in Italy I actually had to MAKE myself talk o people. But after my first hostel I realised were all in the same boat. The first thing I said was where are you from.....we only got to the name part after a few hours!

Im not the most approachable person either, and like most of us here, was also worried about being alone the entire holiday. But there is no way that can happen, because backpackers are really talkative and if you dont talk, someone else will.

**Dig** · 12-27-2008, 03:16 AM

I am more nervous when I don't talk to people while backpacking. I don't know why, but after I break the ice with someone I no longer feel awkward.

**offhegoes03** · 12-27-2008, 08:00 AM

I can only really repeat what everyone else has said. When you're traveling and staying in hostels, you have a ton in common with most everyone there. Start talking to people when cooking dinner or just hanging out in the common room and it'll be easy to meet people.

One thing I'll add. Some people just aren't there to meet people. They might have their own small group or they might just like being alone. Don't get upset if everyone you meet doesn't seem really interested in talking to you. Just move on and meet someone else. I am still very shy until I get to know people, but I had no problem at all meeting people when traveling alone. There were some times where it was easier than others, but it really isn't hard. Good luck and you'll be fine!

augentier · 12-27-2008, 11:49 AM

Thanx for the reassurance everyone

**maracle** · 12-27-2008, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by augentier

Thanx for the reassurance everyone

Yep, lots of shy people backpack and it will work out. Like everyone said, you must spend your free time in the common areas...you'll quickly find that "good" and "bad" hostels are defined almost entirely by the common areas. People will tell you they loved a hostel that was cold with terrible beds and so noisy they never got a minute of sleep, but it had a great bar!

And if anyone asks you what's wrong then hey you've broken the ice :D

**TheWills** · 12-28-2008, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maracle

People will tell you they loved a hostel that was cold with terrible beds and so noisy they never got a minute of sleep, but it had a great bar!

And if anyone asks you what's wrong then hey you've broken the ice :D

Both of these are absolutely Phenominal quotes and so very very true. One of my favorite hostels ever was in Australia and a chunk of the roof it was chiprock or something broke and fell onto a bed lol and people were like this place is a dump but it did have an awsome bar and I met a friend there from Europe who is now my best friend in the world, lol. Also as someone mensioned before play the 20 qestions even someone like me who has been asked that about 1000 times in my life will still respond. I have never once ever been brushed off when trying to talk to someone. I thin you are gonna be surprised how easy it really is. One more thing I would do is try to find yourself seats at tables or whatever with lots of ppl around, do go slinkin off to that lone seat in the corner that will get ppl lookin at you thinking whos the weird loner over there... I better lock up my stuff with them around.
Dont worry your gonna have a great time!

**BedtimeontheMoon** · 12-28-2008, 08:22 PM

Meeting people just naturally happens in hostels. Like everyone here has said, if you're in the common areas, then it's pretty inevitable that you will meet and talk with people. I am a shy person and I travelled alone to Europe and it wasn't nearly as lonely as I thought it would be. It was easy to meet people, and traveling alone it's much easier to attach yourself to a group. Sometimes, you'll even be glad that you have some alone time! Like everyone has said, backpackers are generally all in the same boat. Even people in clicks or groups that they come with are sometimes willing to let a solo person join them (I joined three different groups in my month abroad).

I wouldn't worry about meeting and interacting with people. I hate small talk as well, but it's like the 20 questions mentioned before. It's like backpacker protocol. That's about as much small talk as you get before you start feeling at least a little more at ease.

**lost in texas** · 12-28-2008, 10:58 PM

I think everyone's right in saying that it comes naturally. At the same time, I think there are times when forcing yourself to be more outgoing really makes a difference. Introduce yourself to the people in your hostel room when they come in, ask people what their plans are. Sometimes they will, but don't wait on people to come to you--you'll miss out on some great opportunities.

**Canadian Bacon** · 01-07-2009, 10:55 AM

Hostels are weird places in which every day is like the first day of school... you will never be in any place where you are likely to meet more people.

The best hostels to choose are the ones that have a lively cozy common room, with couches arranged so that they face each other. You would not believe the difference in social interaction that the layout of the common room makes....

dgdarien · 03-03-2009, 02:28 PM

I am definitely one of those people that if the hostel is a dump but has great opportunities to meet and hang out with great people, then I'll probably look at it as a positive experience. And then you can always tell funny stories about it later, "do you remember that one hostel with the shower literally IN the room?"