dumbest things you've heard tourists say

[FinnAnn]

What a hilarious stories you have here. I think where ever you go and who ever you meet always someone knows how to behave badly or say something stupid. The question me and my sister heard a lot on our trip to UK was, do you have polarbears and penguins in your country?!? I know that Finland is up north looking almost from any part of the world, but what people doesn't understand is that WE DO NOT LIVE IN THE NORTH POLE!!! We have a similar climet than New York city has, a little colder at winter, though. But defenitely the best I've ever heard was when this elderly Australian guy asked me if I can walk on the ice from Finland to Sweden when ever I want? i mean REALLY?? We don't have ice the whole year around and you would defenitely have to be some kind of superman to walk from here to Sweden!! :D But lets forgive people their ignorance, you can't always know everything, no matter where you from!! :D

[worldwidemike]

Welcome to our first (only?) Finnish member, FinnAnn! I wish I could remember some of the Finnish I was taught by the Finnish group o the kibbutz, many years ago. So, as long as we're in the habit of telling everyone stories about other nationalities...what stories do you Finns tell about Swedes? Or is it Russians that you tell stories about...?

worldwidemike

[maracle]

Yeah!! Welcome FinnAnn! And I saw someone from Holland a few days ago too, definitely need more European members from outside the UK :D

[IDDQD]

Haha. These stories are awesome.

It's easy to pick out the Canadians in a group of Westerners in Taiwan, (or probably anywhere)
They're the ones that are complaining about the weather. It's too hot, too cold, too humid, too dry, the day is too short, the sun is killing me, I hate rain, what is this? a f**king drought? June in Ontario is better.

ring any bells? haha

-guilty

[aliz]

we were doing the berlin walking tour last week and we got to the babelplatz, where there is a memorial for the nazi bookburnings (for those who haven't seen it, it's a room full of empty white bookshelves under the ground, which you can see through a little glass hole in the ground). The guide talked for about 5 minutes about the bookburnings and who designed the memorial and what it symbolised etc etc, then said he'd give us a minute to all look at it (it's hard for everyone to see at once). two aussie girls behind me, who had said earlier on the tour that they'd done german history at school, walked forward and looked in. One said "what is it?" and her friend said "I dunno, looks like bookshelves or something". The reply was "oh my god, that's so random! why would they just have empty bookshelves under the ground?!"
sigh.

[pinknic38]

On the subject of English travelers from the last page, I've got 2 separate stories...

Had a bad experience with these 5 English guys about a year younger than I that I met at my hostel in Poland. I was chatting with them and we realized we were all on the same tour to Auschwitz. The lady from the tour comes to get us and its already running late, and the lead asshole from the group needs his camera and a drink so the lady tells him to hurry up and he's gone like 15 min and the lady from our tour company is pissed cos we gotta meet other people and walk to the van, and he'd stopped to check his email! Then on the walk to the bus he stopped when he saw some local with a bullhorn so he could yell in it and then he stopped to buy a pop and we were all on thus bus waiting for him, along with about 10 other angry travelers. All his friends thought he was just hilarious. what a douche.

I think its funny to see what others think of other nationalities, because I was hanging out with the coolest Ebglish lady ever in the Krakow airport. She lived in Germany now and her sister in London still, so they met up all the time at random places in Europe for long weekends. She was on my flight to Dortmund. Anyhoo, she thinks the whole backpacker scene is so cool and she's been everywhere and she was asking me what kinds of folks I've met and I told her my hotsel roommates in Krakow were from Wales and she was like "Oh god, I don't know how you could even understand them!"

And I thought that was so funny cos I'm thinking "uhhh they sound just like you..." But I figured that would be bad form to say so... Haha.

Call me an asshole American, but I cannot tell the difference between the accent of someone from England and someone from Wales. Furthermore, if someone from Australia is speaking, I can't tell if you're from there or from New Zealand... Sorry kids, it all sounds the same to me. Its prolly like how someone from like Minnesota sounds wayyyy different from someone from, say, Georgia, but I'm sure only Americans can tell.

Shit when I first met the folks from Wales I thought they were from Australia. But when someone from America opens their mouth I can tell you what state they're from lol.

[joe7f]

Some of the accents are really tough to distinguish. Scottish and Northern Ireland sound similar if you get people from the big cities. I try to get Aussies/Kiwis to say Fish and Chips and if I hear Fush un chups they are kiwi, or Aussies making fun of kiwis.

Back to story time. I was at the A-bomb museum in Hiroshima and there was a group of Nigerian soldiers taking pictures of the photos of the aftermath. There is a no photography policy because 1.) it holds up the movement of people, 2.) flash photography is distracting and 3.) because it is disrespectful

Sure enough no less than 4 Nigerians were paparazzi-ing it up with full flash...of items behind glass. Then they kept saying "Oh the pictures aren't coming out right". Well no shit!

Self indictment story time: I was in Venice with my sister and her friend. They were "starving" so we headed off to a restaurant in Venezia Mestre (the part of Venice that the locals live in--a few miles from the Venice everyone thinks of). The place was called Restorante di Beppi. We walk in and sit down, our attempts at Italian were stopped by the owner who spoke far better English. He gave us the menu and waited over us as we ordered which I thought was poor form so I went with the carbonara chicken pasta, my sister's friend did the same, and Em did her default when the pressure to pick something off a menu becomes to great: say umm..scan the menu frantically and then order nothing. I asked if he could come back and he said, you have to order now because we are closing for the afternoon!

We told her we could share some of our dish with her. The only good thing was that by having the owner hurry us, I figured we could get out fairly quickly. There is a weird lull for about 2 hours in the middle of the day between Mestre and Santa Lucia so I was eager to beat it and we had more than an hour. The service was typically European. By the time we had gotten our food we had about 30 minutes until the train.

We ate quickly and within a few minutes we signaled the owner/waiter/cook to bring us the check. 10 minutes later, still nothing. If the place had been busy I would have understood. I got the attention of another waiter and said "Il Conto per favore" and did the universal autograph in the air sign. 5 minutes later, still nothing. I am starting to go nuts because if we miss the train we have a long time to wait so I go up to the front, pick up a menu and start adding all the items together. There was no drink price (of course) but there was a service charge included and for such lousy service I figured I could get the drinks comped. Of course, there is no one to ask so I leave the money on the table and leave.

We get 300 feet down the road and he signals us back saying we didn't pay. I yelled it was on the table and he said "No you are missing 10 euros" I jogged back instead of continuing on (which I probably should have done the guy was obese and would never have made it). He comes back and says, "You didn't pay! There is no service charge here! Every restaurant has a service charge you don'ta get nothing fora free"

I told him that his restaurant was shit and so was his service. And he said, you need 10 euros for the service. I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself but I wasn't sure how to do that in Italian. Rather than miss the train I slammed a 10 spot on the table and told him that I have no problem paying for service but he didn't serve us. It was shitty and might I add, disrespectful service given our time crunch. We added a little ugly American to the mix by telling him he should come to the states to see how restaurant service is supposed to be. I feel like I am entitled to it now and again

Haha, good times...:D

--Joey

[voyd]

Originally Posted by FinnAnn

do you have polarbears and penguins in your country?!? I know that Finland is up north looking almost from any part of the world, but what people doesn't understand is that WE DO NOT LIVE IN THE NORTH POLE!!!

And actually, penguins only live in the South Pole...on top of that. So, they are actually doubly-mistaken!

[Elizabeth]

This is why I love America and your story joey! Best customer service in the world. Me and my friend went to Ruby Tuesday's the another night and had a craptastic experience culminating with us both trapped on the bathroom throne, so he called and complained and they are sending him a $100 dollar gift card. Never would have happened w/ Joey's Italian friends there.

ps Why do the Canadians get a smiley with their flag but we get nothing?

[maracle]

I'll make a standing offer to move to any country in Europe or Africa if I'm provided with free penguins and/or lions for pets :D

[raoulduke]

Originally Posted by pinknic38

Furthermore, if someone from Australia is speaking, I can't tell if you're from there or from New Zealand... Sorry kids, it all sounds the same to me.

I can imagine how that could be tricky if you're not from
Aus or NZ, what shocked me was the amount of Americans that couldn't tell the difference between an Australian accent and an English one.

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by pinknic38

Had a bad experience with these 5 English guys about a year younger than I that I met at my hostel in Poland.

Ah the everpresent Stag Party. I can't believe they even bothered with the Auschwitz tour. Usually they just get wasted and sleep all day. They are the "ugly travelers" of the UK. One time in Krakow me and the hostel receptionist at Nathan's Villa tricked these 2 drunk guys on a stag weekend. We had this whole thing going on that I was Polish even though I had started speaking to them in my normal accent. We totally had them tricked, but then again its prob not that hard to trick a drunk person.

[worldwidemike]

Joey, don't feel you're an ugly American because it annoys you that lazy, inattentive service gets passed off in Europe as standard. Of all the places I've been, Europeans are some of the worst waiters...and in Italy (probably my favorite country in the world) has the worst of those...! The only people who enjoy that kind of service are those who want to linger over a cup of coffee for 2-3 hours and not get the "stink eye" from the restaurant staff that the table isn't making any money for them while they sit there...

Oh well...it's a cultural difference, and one of the joys of traveling, eh?

worldwidemike

[juliagulia]

Okay I have PLENTY of these, all from ONE woman.

First off, her name is LALA. Who the fuck names their child Lala? They set her up for disaster.

Anyway. Day one. She loses her passport. I mean, okay, understandable. But why did this happen? Because she had it in he jacket pocket and had her jacket tied around her waist. Somewhere along the streets of London, her passport slipped out. But ya know, we figured, honest mistakes, nothing to do with her lack of IQ.

Boy, were we sadly mistaken. What doesn't help is that she tended to speak very slowly and with a very thick... Texan/Spanish(?) accent and turned everything into a question. The rest of her family had the same accent, but they sounded intelligent at least. She managed to sound like the least educated woman in the world.

Anyway, we're at Rosslyn Chapel which is OBVIOUSLY not a modern building and behind me I hear "So, is this made of cement?"

We're in Wales and she goes to a line to pay and there's a huuuuuge line and she pulls out all her change.

"Oh I'm sorry? I'm not used to paying with so much change? Is this enough?"

"Lala, you're giving him quarters and dimes."

"But aren't we in euro now? Didn't we leave England?"

"Lala, just give him the ten pound note."

"Okay but I need that for Ireland, no?"

And my favorite, "I can't tell if this is euros or pounds? It looks like a euro, but it says 2 pounds on the front?"

Woman was so frustrating! Though I have to say, she provided plenty of entertainment.

[pinknic38]

^ uhhh..... WOW!

LOL

[raoulduke]

You had me at Lala

[Magnifico]

Originally Posted by Canadian Bacon

Actually on this trip, I was quite surprised to find out just how many people hated Italian tourists.

The problem, from what I could tell, is Italian men in groups, and I did not one time for 8 months see a solo Italian male. Times when I went to Vienna, Munich, Amsterdam, etc., it would be groups, a horde, of Italian guys and they seemed to have to prove their man-ness. One talked shit at my girlfriend's mother's face when we were walking through Vienna (her family came to visit during the holidays) and I snapped around, pointed at the guy and dropped a mix of German and Italian on the guy and he got the picture. But when we were in Munich for Oktoberfest, we went to the Hofbräuhaus (not my idea) and there were dozens of Italians, grabbing waitresses' asses and trying to pull them into their laps, running amok, throwing shit and yelling and apparently the police showed up and rounded up a ton of them and sent them to the drunk-tank. I'm told there was a good deal of applause.

English guys seem to be pretty rough, too. My favorite stupid stuff moment was in Frankfurt, when these three young gentlemen were pounding on the hostel door for twenty minutes, until a girl (from Canada, I think) opened the door only to 1) find them standing there, holding the key to the room, and 2) be greeted with "Well hello, gorgeous". When they saw how pissed everybody in the room was, they just said "What, were you asleep?" It was at least 3 in the morning, and two of the people in the room were 50+ years old.

I recall hearing an American girl (we call her type Tanorexics, a name which I doubt needs clarification) in San Sebastian, one of the nicest, most beautiful, friendliest places I've been to period, shout on the walkway "I don't knoooow why the locals have to be so RUDE" at a group of people passing by. I can only assume they didn't know how to direct her to the nearest Starbucks.

[florencia9699]

Originally Posted by pinknic38

Sorry kids, it all sounds the same to me.

Hahahaha! Sorry, but this reminded me to thr Tina Turner Church... I just burst out laughing!!!

[snodogj]

Having spent the day at Auschwitz, we were on the bus heading back to Krakow. It was the last minibus of the day and, as such, was overcrowded. We were packed in tightly. As we set off, one woman kept complaining about the state of the bus. "This is so uncomfortable." "Why the hell can't they have more busses?" "If they have so many people, can't they get a real bus?" "These seats are horrible." And then: "Now I know how the jews felt when they packed them onto those trains."

Everyone went into shock and there was total silence for what felt like forever, but was likely just a moment or two, until it was broken by a nice old fellow who simply said "Fuck you."

[joe7f]

I heard one lady say something to the effect of, "These buses could be better but it's kind of hard to complain"

Yeah no shock. I was amazed anyone could muster any complaint at all. Had I heard that woman equate her experience with the victims of Auschwitz, I would have been that nice old fellow. I was soaked wet in a thin tshirt and it was kind of cold and windy. If visiting that place doesn't put small problems in perspective nothing will.

--Joey