Dio is home sick today!

[Diorama]

Yes so it finally happened. I got friggin sick. ughhhhhhh Usually i'm sick all the time (since one of my jobs is workin in a drug store), but for some reason this whole summer I have escaped the dreaded cold/flu..yeah right. Woke up on sunday with a scratchy throat and now I have a full blown snotty cold. I had to call in sick today..sniff sniff..It's 6:30am in the morning and i can't sleep because my nose is so snotty.. does anyone know of good remedies to get rid of colds quickly? i need to get rid of it cuz i'm going up to kamloops on thurs and whitewater rafting on sat..

So since it's only 6 in the morning (dio time) I have a whole day to be entertained by you! That's right I demand to be entertained. Thank you all ..

ps I accept lap dances.

[llemus7]

sorry to hear your sick dio. I don't have any remedies to offer to you. Hope your sknotts get better!

[voyd]

Garlic, echinacea, Vitamin C & zinc lozenges...laughter

Bush Calls on NASA To Put Man on Sun By 2010
by Alex Joyce

WASHINGTON D.C. - At a recent visit to the NASA facilities in Cape Canaveral, Florida, President Bush expressed hope U.S. astronauts would be able to land a man safely on the sun within 10 years.

“One of our earlier Presidents set the goal of landing a man on the moon and that certainly sounded remarkable at the time. I see no reason why we couldn’t eventually get a man to walk on the sun without injury," Bush said.

John F. Kennedy was just one year in his office when he challenged NASA to put a man on the moon by the end of the decade. In the summer of 1969, Neil Armstrong made that journey, setting the stage for future space exploration and dozens of botched missions costing American taxpayers billions of dollars.

President Bush urged NASA engineers and geologists to begin mapping the sun’s surface for signs of oil, telling them what an incredible source of energy the sun could be and how America could lead the rest of the world in harnessing this great power. "There's oil in them hills," Bush joked to some polite laughter.

The President argued the journey should also include important research that might shed light on why the sun becomes hotter during the summertime and why it continually circles our planet.

"The only way to unlock the sun's mysteries is to have our astronauts do a lunar landing on its surface," said Bush. "Then, they can collect all of the astrological information we need. With this information we might one day find a way to cool off the sun and put an end to global warming."

The President hopes that NASA will be able to successfully complete the mission during his administration, but acknowledges he is also setting the stage for future Presidents in case they can't build "a super fire-proof spacesuit" by the end of his term.

"I envision a day, where we will no longer risk blindness by staring into the sun," Bush said. "Where, during a particularly hot summer, we might be able to turn a knob like on the thermostat which would draw a gigantic shade and give us all temporary relief. I realize this sounds like science fiction, but that’s what we said when we first started watching Star Trek."

More excellent satire here.

[Diorama]

Thanx voyd! er yeah thanx for nothing llemus!

I'm drinking some neocitrin now mabye that will knock me out.

[Canadian Dude]

Sorry to hear your sick Dio, I hope you feel better soon...why don'y you watch some game shows and some soaps, that will make ya feel a little better!!

[voyd]

Here's sum mo, Dio, hehe:

[Diorama]

haha voyd. too funny..

thankx cd.yes i think i'll go get in touch with the talk show circuit today. i think i wanna watch sharon osbournes new show.

[travelpunk]

Dio, you're the one with the day off! Turn on that webcam and send us a link! Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight

Worked with a guy who hadn't had a cold or flu in over ten years! His secret, he took vitamin C chewable teblets everyday. Always kept a big plastic bottle of it on his desk. For future reference

Funny link, Voyd

[Paulo]

Sorry to hear of your malaise.

Although I know it's too late now; When I feel a cold coming on, I will take tons of Echinacea and Increase my intake of Vitamin C and zinc. It rarely gets past that stage if I catch it soon enough. Being a total ignoramus, I don't know what is available in your country as far as supplements and herbs though.

If after I do get something, I will stil take lots Of C and then some Zinc losenges too. Then, I will just take tons of Nyquil when I go to sleep so that I at least get some rest. And as mum propably says, Eat lots of vegetables, abandon refined sugars and watch some good soaps.



G'day

Paulo

p.s. I'm a little far away right now for the lap dance thing, so I can't help ya there. :P

[voyd]

(Sorry if anyone might be offended by these spoofs, I just personally find them hilarious.)

Matrix II review... :D
-----------------------------------
S*X RIDDLES

1. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
Goes-in-tight!

2. What does a 72-year-old snatch taste like?
Depends.

3. What's "68"?
You do me and I owe you one.

4. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Gagged!

5. What do you call a man who cries while he ma5turbates?
A tearjerker.

6. Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.

7. How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!

8. What's the definition of a vag1na?
The box a pen15 comes in.

9. What do you call a truckload of vibrat0rs?
Toys for Twats.

10. Why do we have 0rgasms?
How else would we know when to stop?

11. What's the definition of indefinitely?
When your balls are slapping up against her ass, you're in
...definitely!

12. Define Transvestite:
A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!

13. What do a di1do and soy beans have in common?
They are both used as a meat substitute.

14. What do you call kids born in wh0rehouses?
Brothel sprouts.

15. What is every Amish woman's private fantasy?
Two Mennonite.

16. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire.

17. Why is s*x like a game of bridge?
You don't need a partner if you've got a good hand.

18. What do you call a smiling Roman with pub1c hair between his teeth?
Gladiator.

19. Why do you get paid more at the Sp*rm Bank than at the Blood Bank?
Sp*rm is handmade.

20. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipp1e on it.

21. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a 1ubricant

[Paulo]

Aw geez man, terrible, absolutely terrible. :P

[Diorama]

voyd your my only source of humour today! thank you...(you sick perverted man)

Tp- uh i really don't think you or anyone else wants to see me right now. I have red nose, and i can barely talk i'm so stuffed up. And i'm in my longjohns with my glasses on..oh buy yes i'm still sexayyyy..

[voyd]

Yes, I am a surprisingly funny/perverted man, Dio.

Ok, now this game is more frustrating than drunken golf, but...

[Diorama]

oh my gawd. that game is stressing me out! who knew it was so hard to catch friggin flys.... damn bugs it's on!

Oh and voyd. are you home sick, or do you generally spend all day on the computer... :P

[voyd]

No, I'm at work, uh "working" all day on the computer... :D

And I couldn't even catch one fly yet, I shame my ancestors.

Wait, I take that back - I just nabbed 4! Die byches!!!

[Diorama]

wow what a nice "job"

i've played six games and I've managed to catch 2 flies..So stupid. The flies go too fast and they don't give you enough time. Who designed this game. i'm gonna kick their ass..

[voyd]

Grasshoppa, you must become one with the chopsticks and one with the flies. Use the force, Dio.

(That and click repeatedly real fast.)

[bristoltraveller]

Check out the site rathergood.com and enjoy the adventures of blode and food. Slightly off the mark but good entertainment anyway, plus some entertaining games enjoy B)

[wong name]

voyd those jokes are very funny.........if everyone else doesnt like em--------well there just running outta humor, and its up 2 u 2 give a refill.....i like that one about the ceo's & the soccer moms 4x4 ing--