CONUNDRUM - TravelPUNK Backpacker College Student Budget Travel Message Boards!

**joanofarc** · 11-23-2004, 01:51 PM

you guys - god, i'm kind of stressin' a little lately. it has mostly to do with my obsessive desire to travel - and all the time. thank god, this is one of the biggest problems on my plate - i should be thankful for that - but of course i'm not/

so, this is how my life's been going: i graduated high school, took a few classes in college - then i started to travel, working all the while. BUT THAT'S ALL I DO. i make a decent wage, but with my excessive travelling wants - i spend all my savings on airfare and other related shit (and i know you guys are thinking, what the hell the expensive ass trip for then? but this is unrelated, i've been struggling with this problem a long time, long before blowing the wad i just blew).

i feel like i'm in a stale mate - there are a few other things in life i'd like to do: pay for climbing lessons, save money with no intention of spending it in the near future, take a ski trip here or there, save for my old age assuming i make it there, etc. BUT I CAN'T - or i don't - or i won't, i don't know.

is this making any sense at all - have you guys thought on this?

sometimes it feels pointless or something, all this travelling - just because i have to fight tooth and nail for it, you know? god - maybe i'm just being an asshole. basically, i think i need to take some time off travelling after thailand - put things into perspective. as much as i love travelling, as much as i crave and burn for it - it's a little crippling and i don't quite know how i feel about that. i don't know what to do - what to want.

CAN YOU TELL ME? PLEASE DO!

**space virgin** · 11-23-2004, 02:12 PM

why aren't you in the chat room so we can hash this out in there?

This is going to sound weird but, well-- no, I don't really relate all that much. I have ALWAYS felt like there are far, far too many things that I want to do/ learn/ see/ taste/ experience/ touch, and I'm just going to keep crossing them off my list as I go. Every once in a while I'll find something that really resonates, and I have to add that to my ever-growing list of [and I detest this word] "hobbies." As it is I work too much, so that slows me down, but I make up for it with having a billion and one things to do. Does THAT make sense?! haha

**joanofarc** · 11-23-2004, 02:16 PM

i love you - and you've helped me so many times, but that didn't help! ahha - sorry to say. i think it's my fault though, i have trouble articulating just the way i feel on this subject and so it's hard for me to explain properly what the hell i'm feeling.

i'm just wondering if all of the struggle and sacrifice i make to travel is worth the benefit - but only i can really answer that./ you know me, i'm always looking for someone else to live my life for me. i wish i was just a ditzy blonde (no offence) that didn't THINK./ i think to much - i dwell - basically, i've been an asshole. i could be missing a limb, or be butt ugly, haha - that's rude, but true. i could be so many things, but i'm mainly just a spoiled brat.

AGGGH! i'm frustrated, and so glad i'm going to vaporize tomorrow. i need to escape, in more than one way.

**joanofarc** · 11-23-2004, 02:19 PM

i really hate not being able to express myself fully here - - i know i could get the advice, words of encouragement i'm looking for if only i could ask you guys right.

**space virgin** · 11-23-2004, 02:20 PM

how about some german boys and weed, then? ahaha-- that should help clarify! or just some freaky candle-light boat sex this weekend!

I sorta know what you're talking about but I'm also having a difficult time expressing it, LOL. What a bunch of freaks we are.

**kyle j** · 11-23-2004, 02:26 PM

Well let me give my two cents though they may not be helpful. from your post joan it sounds like you just feel stuck and not moving forward. I would suggest maybe taking up school again if possible, study something in the international arena and you can always do study abroad or something like that which can be cheap with scholarships, plus when you graduate you could work internationally and be in a permanant kind of job that could be more satisfying. Hope this was somewhat helpful......goodluck

**joanofarc** · 11-23-2004, 02:26 PM

yeah, i should stop thinking about all this REAL shit and get in the chat.

you're right, haha! HO!

life's so much easier when i just lust and fantasize my days away - it's sick and cheap - but it's easy!

**joanofarc** · 11-23-2004, 02:28 PM

you're just cute, so it helped.

way to be half-asian, i love your type!

i'm trying to dredge up lustiness and debauchery now - OHM.

**voyd** · 11-23-2004, 02:29 PM

Going everywhere, yet getting nowhere? I feel ya, girl. Hence my rambling post in the other thread. I was having a mini-ID crisis lately and taking stock of my life.

In short, I think personal growth and travelling are 2 different things. They may certainly intersect, but don't mistake one for the other. A little bit of both is probably healthy.

"We still sittin' still but still makin' moves," is a line I came up with this weekend.

You can make personal progress with or without physically moving. And move with or without making personal progress. Or, you could do both. You don't have to give up one for the other - nor would that be any guarantee, anyways. Take each one separately for what they are. Then do what you gotta do.

Realize yo bad self. Do. Act. Express. Make. CREATE. Put down tha bong and ACTIVATE.

Keep ya eyes on the prize and never lose sight of your goals...iight!

**joanofarc** · 11-23-2004, 02:31 PM

yes - of course, your post was my inspiration to this madness, dank u well.

**voyd** · 11-23-2004, 02:36 PM

^ See, we both TRIPPIN' now sittin' still.

Well, have a BLAST in A-Dam!

**joanofarc** · 11-23-2004, 02:36 PM

thanks, baby.

**Sijuki** · 11-23-2004, 02:53 PM

I can understand where you are coming from Joanie. I have had my share of "Where am I going, and what should I really be doing" in the last year or so. But I figure, life is short, and really the only person that it matters to is you. You just have to live your life doing what you love. If traveling outside the U.S. is a thrill, perhaps try to get a job outside the U.S. and I am sure you could do many of your other desires there too.

I have seriously considered it. Although information can sometimes be hard to come by, I think I am going to look into it a bit when I travel this year. I would love to spend some significant time overseas. Plus I would save a lot on airfare. Don't know if this helped much, but it was worth a try.

**Rozza** · 11-23-2004, 03:20 PM

Ok well since its life heres my little thing of wisdom

Dont give up....

Because that means either Death, Or coma if your hearts not really in the whole death thing

**kingcrazylegs** · 11-23-2004, 04:09 PM

I am not sure if this will help at all, but I think the key is moderation.

I am obviously someone who feels the need to travel and go and see, but I try also to be realistic about it. That is one of the reasons that I studied abroad and chose a type of "work" that will keep me traveling. For me the key has been "living" in new places and not just "visiting" them. In this way I can accomplish the other important things in my life, and still explore the ajoining countries and the one I am living in.

In a sense I have developed a philosophy of not planning all my travels, but planning my life, based on what I feel is important for me to accomplish, and do it in a way that gets me to new places. So, I travel as a result of the other accomplishments and goals in my life. Does this make sense?

Anthon

**Somnambulation** · 11-23-2004, 06:53 PM

You should go to college, you would do phenomenally well Im sure. Study philosophy or something at UCSD and then go abroad like Kyle said. Mabye even transfer to a school in Europe. It is quite fulfilling to study and work on a subject that really interests you and when you are finished, you have the tools to progress further if you so choose.

**U2fan** · 11-23-2004, 08:48 PM

yeah, I think working abroad could be the key....I know it's worked for lots of people, like KCL, and that's what I'm hoping to do....

**worldwidemike** · 11-24-2004, 02:11 AM

I'm going to hop on the "get Ninja-Joanie out of the country" bandwagon. If family or job are not tying you down, right now, I say give working overseas a try. You could find that "you" that you feel you're missing...

worldwidemike

**joanofarc** · 11-29-2004, 11:28 AM

just plain, thanks for all the replies!

i love you guys, and all of the support you offer me and all the others.

we're the best site ever! how SWEEEEEEEET!

Ryder · 11-29-2004, 12:40 PM

hmm...i think i'm at the beginning of where you are. haha. all i think about is traveling....basically....last nigth i couldnt sleep all night because i couldn't stop thinking about it! all the extra money i get i put directly into my "travel savings" which now stands at $980. I've had a countdown going for the time when i graguate(high school....) and can travel as much as i want with money being the only restriction. haha this board is not helping either.

btw, i have 1280 days until graguation....