Meeting others while traveling solo not as easy as I've been told - TravelPUNK Backpacker College Student Budget Travel Message Boards!

Zima · 05-15-2011, 08:36 AM

I'm traveling solo for about 4 months, and the last month will be in Europe. I'm in SE Asia now and was in New Zealand prior to this.

Before I left, I was a little concerned that loneliness would be an issue. But luckily, everyone seems to say that, even if you're on the shy side, meeting people is quite easy when traveling.

Well, loneliness hasn't been too much of an issue - I've seen so much and experienced tremendous personal growth on my travels. Many things, like beautiful hiking trails or ancient temple ruins, are things I'd RATHER do on my own.

But I keep hearing about meeting people you end up really connecting with, or at least getting drunk with. So far on my travels I haven't gone out with people, at all. I've had conversations with many people, sure. I've had wine over dinner with people a couple times, explored some ruins with a person I met on the bus once, played some music with people, small things of that nature. But this hasn't been common. And making actual friends? Not really.

I used to be very shy - but I thought I got over that a long time ago. I have no problem holding conversations, I know a very large number of people back home, have a few close friends and *had* a wonderful girlfriend. I'm not smelly or ugly, though I do know i naturally look pretty serious and difficult to approach.

At the same time, my need to socialize is probably a bit below average, and I also tend to take a while to really feel comfortable with people. There has to be a connection - something I haven't really felt on my travels.

To be honest, I'd be fine with continuing like this - basically being on my own with casual conversations along the way. But I feel like I'm missing out - even if I'm not lonely, I would like to meet some friends along the way or at least go out for drinks with people.

Any advice? Are hostels in Europe any different from NZ?

Yes, I try to smile. I'm not great at it, but I try. Don't say just smile more and everything will magically take care of itself.

samudev · 05-17-2011, 05:02 AM

While traveling solo, people does encounter with such type of problems like they feel lonely at times. This is because to develop a good bond with someone else takes time and it is not always that you will meet the people who are interested to develop relations with strangers.

**The Sasquatch** · 05-17-2011, 05:59 AM

I think part of it might be the NZ factor. Alot less partying in general and more focused on outdoor activities. People are maybe waking up earlier and partaking in more strenuous activities and therefore going to bed earlier. But meeting people still shouldn't be too hard with a little effort. I wasn't alone in NZ all that much because I found two guys to buy a car with in Auckland before travelling around so I wasn't pressed to find company everywhere I went.

Hostels in Europe seem to centre more around drinking though, so it should be easier to meet people. Try to stay at hostels with good common areas or even bars and you should have no problem.

**Elizabeth** · 05-17-2011, 07:54 PM

Try to find someone to meetup with on CouchSurfing (make a posting on the group page for the area you're visiting that you want an exploration/social/whatever meetup) or invite some other lonely looking traveler out for a drink. Worst they can say is no right?

**expatben** · 05-18-2011, 07:46 AM

I never came away with any long life friends but the Heart of Gold in Berlin has a great common area and is a good place to meet people. Really, I think the only time I stayed at a hostel and came away with real friends was India House in New Orleans. But it can happen. Just find a group of people to hang out with and then as you're all going your seperate ways ask if they facebook. Facebook is a great way to keep travelers together. Of course, you can also reccomend an account on TPunk

**Canadian Bacon** · 05-22-2011, 01:57 PM

I hear you bro.

After travelling solo for so many years, I've realised that the actual 'friends' you make in hostels are a special few that somehow the universe wants you to meet. You said it right: mostly you finding drinking buddies or persons you are attracted to -- not so much 'friends', and hostel bonds can be fickle.

Ironically I think the more you want to meet people, the tougher it will be, as the anxiety will be greater when you see people you can hang out with. Please do not focus on your flaws: everyone is flawed, but everyone makes friends and everyone finds mates. This is not the reason. The reason its that its just hard to actually MEET someone. This is why movies like Eurotrip and Before Sunrise were such great hits...

My advice would be just go with the flow, and recognise that many nights you're going to be alone while everyone around you seems to be partying. But have some faith... you'll meet the right people when you're meant to

Good luck!
CB

**marc873** · 05-24-2011, 08:35 PM

CB, I totally agree!!!!

Mrdevid · 08-07-2011, 10:34 PM

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PhilBill · 10-01-2011, 06:46 AM

Can't Really Compare Solo Travel til you Travel as Couple or group of 2 or More. I live a life which would be considered a DREAM to 90% of humanity often silently feeling like "GOD" but needed to escape, travel solo and feel like a "NOBODY" , healthy for my "spirit" and "soul", as a person. I do meet more people alone than traveling with my wife but still not really that many. Several thousand travelers from 93 countries pass through our Manila guest house each and every year since the 80s so I'm use to meeting all kinds of people of all ages with various educational and career backgrounds with liberal and conservative attitudes. So I've rarely been lonely for companionship but being alone traveling solo reminds me that I also can be my own best friend and companion and can appreciate the freedom of doing stupid things making spontaneous decisions, getting lost wandering around , moving without planning living day by day and changing my mind allowing myself to be influenced by the ever changing moments in life.

So give YOURSELF a BREAK from yourself, LAUGH, DANCE in the Moonlight, SMILE at life and be open to amuse yourself with your own shortcomings or introspective thoughts. Good Luck Enjoy Life!