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Old 11-20-2003, 07:24 AM   #1
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Ok, here is the question...Is the fact that I enjoy travel on my own, and have been on 3 trips since my marriage 1 1/2 years ago grounds for someone to think that I am a complete asshole and my wife a moron??? When I tell my friends that I will be going over seas by my self, they are in complete shock!!! "Your Wife Is Letting You Go!" and when I explain that I never asked for perimssion, I simply told her I was planning to go away. The are in awe, I have to wonder what type of women these guys are dating or are married to that they would be in such a state as when i start to plan to go away.

My wifes friends asure her that I am cheating on her, I must be, why the hell would I want to travel on my own??? I am shag'n girls in every country i pass though. I prob even have babies over there!!! "I would never let me man go away like that!" "I don't even let my man go to the store with out calling him on his cell phone to make sure the bastard isn't hanging around some bar!" These are things that her friends say. They think she is nuts!!! but what I see are very sad women who have no trust in their relationships.

And her family thinks that we are on a express highway to divorse, "No man should be leaving his wife alone for 2 days, 2 weeks is the down fall of a marriage!"

My Family expects this of me, they know what kinda guy I am, and that I travel because I love it more than pretty much anything...some people collect stamps, some collect coins, some like crafts...I Love To Travel....

My wife tells me to ignore what people say and it doesn't matter, we know what the deal is and thats the bottom line.

Has anyone else been though this kinda thing????

The reason we do not travel togeather is completely different interests, and the fact that I "budget" travel, she is not to keen on that...I don't know how I would enjoy seeing a country playing the stereotypical goofy tourist...Its just not my thing...
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Old 11-20-2003, 07:45 AM   #2
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My dad has travelled to China a lot without my mom. Sometimes their schedules don't mesh or she doesn't want/need to go. Cost is a big factor too.

It's hard to plan trips with someone else so your schedules/interests/living standards fit and you have the budget for 2 vs 1. That's a main reason why so many backpackers go solo, married or not. So I can see where you're coming from - old habits die hard!

But on the DL, how many half-Czech babies ya got, bro?
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Old 11-20-2003, 08:12 AM   #3
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CD,
Those women that say bad things about you leaving without your wife to travel in far off lands, how you must be screwing everything in sight. I know those women. I had a g/f like that once. She always thought I was screwing around on her, even had to pass a job offer because it included travel. Psshhh...

All I have to say is if your wife is cool with it, then don't worry about it. Along that line, keep her. There are a lot of women out ther who are insecure because of their wrongdoings. CD I salute you for living your life how you see fit, and I salute your wife for trusting you. Something that isn't very common now-a-days. At least not from my experiences. that's my rant.
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Old 11-20-2003, 01:51 PM   #4
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this is all completely understandable....just remember women have a tendancy to say one thing and think or mean another one......SO, just make sure you dont ever hurt her feelings when it comes to this.....an idea is to have a plan of what you want to do and then invite her....more then likely she will decline because she likes doing the goofy toursit thing and you do the rugged backpacker thing....

....she sounds like a great woman....so hold on to her....and just make sure you dont disregard how she REALLY FEELS.....

.........FUCK EVERYONE ELSE'S OPINIONS THOUGH.... ...espicially your and her friend's (all those "Normal" People with unhappy lives)........
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Old 11-20-2003, 03:44 PM   #5
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I would never expect my bf or husband to stay close to me at all time and at all cost. If he wants to travel, fine, I'll be happy for him. I don't understand why a guy should have to call is gf when he is at a party (Sorry, I need to go call my gf! How many times did I hear that!?)

I was with a guy that didn't want me to travel...Well, I had to leave him for that reason. My mom loves to travel and went on a 1 month trip to France 25 years ago, when she came back my father was so mad at her for leaving him alone all this time that she never travelled again...I'll never let anybody decide what I should do with my life, and I'll never tell anyone what to do with theirs.

CD, your relationship is much more healthy than any of your wife's friend...Trust is soooo important!
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Old 11-20-2003, 03:54 PM   #6
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haha- after this last vacation i went on with my boyfriend - we both said we'd prefer to travel alone. anyway, i think you're kind of less-aproachable as a couple.
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Old 11-22-2003, 02:36 AM   #7
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Hey man, just 'cause everyone else thinks its wrong doesn't make it wrong. They're just conforming to society's expectations of the typical marriage. If your wife says she's cool with it, and doesn't try to talk you out of anything, then that tells you right there it's all good. Besides, there are lotsa hubbies who work for three weeks, come home for two and that kind of thing. So why is your taking a trip any different than that if you trust eachother.
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Old 03-13-2004, 01:15 PM   #8
 
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FANTASTIC- Give your wife and extra long hug! In most relationships, my guess is that taking separate holidays is very uncommon during the first 10 years of a marriage. My wife, Lorna and I, recreated our relationship regarding separate trips every year over 4 years ago after being together for 15 years. We each had places we'd like to go that didn't appeal to the other so we decided to GO FOR IT , each year for maybe a few weeks a year. I'm taking off for a 3 month trip in Sept. 2004, Cambodia-Burma via Thailand for one month on the way to trekking 2 months in Nepal; hopefully she'll meet me for part of it after she's finished decorating and furnishing the interior of our new beach house on Boracay Island.
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Old 03-14-2004, 04:22 AM   #9
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Hey CD, more power to ya! I think that you, your relationship and your wife are really healthy! Plus, you have a great partner! She sounds really cool, strong, confident and supportive! That's the kind of relationship I would want too!

.........FUCK EVERYONE ELSE'S OPINIONS THOUGH.... ...espicially your and her friend's (all those "Normal" People with unhappy lives)........ That's right baby!
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Old 03-14-2004, 12:25 PM   #10
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My boyfriend and I are going through a similar problem. Well he actually doesn't like that I travel and hates the idea of me going solo even though I ask him to go with me and he turns me down. I told him that if we ever get married I'm dragging his ass to Europe for our honeymoon - which he wasn't happy about.

He always says he's worried about me getting hurt, kidnapped, raped, eaten by monkey children(wtf? - I didn't get it either), etc. But hey if he can't deal with that then oh well.

Most the time I start talking about my upcoming plans he kinda zones out. I can't tell if he is just mad because I've seen so much more of the world then he has or if he just doesn't want me to leave. Either way I'm going somewhere this year with or without his permission.

BTW - My mom isn't so happy about me going solo either....but my dad's all excited about it. Shows how the family works.
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Old 03-14-2004, 03:02 PM   #11
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Wow Blinkchick! That's some serious business...Kind of a don't go love triangle...
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Old 04-12-2004, 11:03 AM   #12
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I don't think to travel without your husband / wife is wrong... If you wanna cheat on someone it can happen everywhere... And I think It's good a little "vacation" sometimes... ALONE!
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Old 04-12-2004, 01:50 PM   #13
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Nah, I don't thinks its wrong CD. I get the picture that you've been into travelling for years and years, so, in which case, she knew that it's your kinda hobby to travel. So, she has no reason but to be cool with it all. I'm sure she's used to it.
Do you both go away for holidays sometimes anyway?

And, in any case CD, who gives a f**k what other people think about your relationship? As long as you two are happy and cool with everything, it doesn't matter what others think.
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