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Old 03-24-2007, 05:59 AM   #1
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Default How long to get your groove while solo??

I'm in SOUTH EAST ASIA at the moment and doing a solo 10 month trip through Asia and Europe, I have been here for about a week in Thailand and I have done so much but it is far less social then I expected. I haven't stayed in any dorms yet and none of the places have common rooms, so this obviously doesn't help but I find it's getting quite hard with having little human contact. How long did it take you experienced travelers to get used to traveling by your self? Ahhhh, I'm so new at this !!!!!!!
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Old 03-24-2007, 06:13 AM   #2
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I couldn't tell you, but I'm in a similar situation. I've been in london for a few days, and while i've been able to hang out with a couple of people, most everyone I've encounted is traveling in groups or families (often non-english speaking). I guess If I get bored enough I'll just start breaking into peoples' groups. Obviously females that travel alone get plenty of attention, single guys aren't such a rare commodity.
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Old 03-24-2007, 06:21 AM   #3
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I like talking to locals. Not to say I don't enjoy talking to other travelers as well, but it's a place to start if you're feeling lonely. It will get better, I promise.
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Old 03-24-2007, 06:32 AM   #4
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where in thailand are you staying? i have problems in thailand too in certain places, the english isnt too great in thailand when you get to malaysia (if you do) youll have people chat away to you. whenver i go there i meet many people at random times!! the thing to do to meet locals and tourists is to go to the travellers bars (sometimes below dorms), some bars are full of foreign people but a few ive been to have nice locals in them too, trying to meet foreigners and share their knowledge.

last year i met some lovely locals in a bar in KL that took me and this dutch traveller outside of KL and around many things for a few days. ive also met travellers with a free itinerary that have ended up coming along with me where ever i am headed.

i am sure youll find people at some point - i have always been a lone traveller and sometimes it does get lonley, especially in places where english is very limited, but these are the times i find i reflect and think about things more - i like to travel and have fun but also learn and find out more aoubt things. it will all make sense soon enough - its daunting at first but everything makes sense after a while!

have fun!!
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Old 03-24-2007, 06:34 AM   #5
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In my very short experience Ive run into this proplem as well, most travelers Ive met where in groups and had there own thing going on. Im sure if I where female it would have been different. I mostly have only gone around Japan alone, so I dont really know how it is in other countries, Ive only gone on one trip alone and it was hard for me to met people from around the world, which is the main reason I went off by myself. I did finally meet a really cute Aussie girl my last week of my 3 month voyage through mid-southern Japan, that was very nice. I would just talk to the locals, They seem to be the most willing to hang out and love to show people around. So I guess really what Im saying is I just wrote all this and I have no advice you havent heard already.

good luck,
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Old 03-24-2007, 06:39 AM   #6
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Its weird, I'm a lone female traveller and i do get a lot of attention but some of it is the qrong attention!! its actually harder to find genuine people to hang out with as such, rather than people who want a fling!! and some travellers i find dont want to talk to solo women in case they think they are dcoming on to them etc. i always wear wedding rings when i travel, it makes me more approachable and people know my status then (even though im not married!)

i think staying in dorms will help you tenfold, once you stay in some dorms that a kinda busy youll find no abundance of people to talk to
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Old 03-24-2007, 06:48 AM   #7
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buzzingtalk : great point, Ill have to admit, when I got lonely I went on the prowl for a female I think Im a a gentleman about it though, but some of the girls where stand offish of me becasue they said I looked like one of "those guys" I guess that travel around and see how many birds they can bag. I just like to meet people, Dorms are the way to go. I met so many people in dorms, like Buzzingtalk said, go to the bars and common areas in the dorms and there are usually a pretty good amount of people, you may only talk to them that night but a least you will have some human interaction for a couple of hours, Ive never been to thailand though.
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Old 03-24-2007, 09:23 AM   #8
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To repeat everything that has been said...

Dorms are definitely the way to go. I also really like hanging out with the locals - in Borneo, I chilled with the staff everywhere I went and it was great (they were so happy to have a "local" girl to talk to after dealing with obnoxious foreigners. )
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Old 03-24-2007, 09:55 AM   #9
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You really just have to keep putting yourself out there. I found TONS of people traveling by themselves when I was traveling...and a few times I hung out in groups, but I generally found people pretty accepting as long as I was willing to put myself out there!
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Old 03-24-2007, 10:09 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by freespiritz View Post
dealing with obnoxious foreigners.
Awwww, that's me!!

Ditto, staying in dorms. Ditto, talking to locals. Take a few risks and just tell yourself, "If I'm totally off-putting and they hate me (obv. never going to happen, but imagine worst-case) then 5 seconds ago, I had never seen them before so nothing is lost if they are bums, and I'll embellish their rudeness for my post-trip narrative when I return home."

I find it takes me a couple hours after landing before I start getting chatty. Maybe one night's stay, because I'll pounce on my roommates when they're waking up and tapdance for them (figuratively) to show that I'd be worth letting tag along. Nobody's ever been sorry!! :D

The single female thing is sorta rough, but I've been fortunate enough to have been "attached" when traveling solo, so I've never been intrigued by a bad come-on. God only knows on my next trip though. I actually went through bits of Jordan with a Spanish guy who had a girlfriend as well, so we bonded without any sexual tension. Serendipitous!
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Old 03-24-2007, 12:45 PM   #11
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Same advice get a dorm!!! It will be cheaper doing that route anyways.

I've had the most depressing/lonely feelings while solo travelling. But as soon as you meet those first few people everything changes. Just know that it will happen. And it won't be like this your whole trip!
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Old 03-24-2007, 01:01 PM   #12
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In addition to what's been said, there will be moments and sometimes days of loneliness, that you'll have to learn to deal with. We have no control whatsoever anymore on the people we are surrended by, sometimes it clicks, sometimes it doesn't; our friends are a long way.

I'm not saying that to discourage you, but maybe to help you accept it is also part of travelling, especially long term. But in my experience, if you don't seem to find buddies in one place, take the bus and ride away. I don't know why, but some places just don't seem to work for one, and very well for others.

I too in Bangkok spent my time alone (only 2 days though), but in Laos, I just couldn't BE alone. I kept meeting people and made plans with them. In Vietnam, it was alone in Hue, but had a very social time in Hanoi, and so on.

Hang on, the pace will come. A balance will set by itself, between your interior life and social life.

I spent 6 months total in Asia. My best trick for the down days was to grab my guide book and prepare the next destination. Or write on travelpunk's boards and get lots of positive feedbacks !
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Old 03-25-2007, 02:32 AM   #13
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Big help, I'm in Pai in the North of Thailand at the moment and I'm leaving back down to Chiang Mai tomorrow where I will make my way to Laos. Thanks for the reasureance.
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Old 03-25-2007, 06:17 AM   #14
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Im doing 12months solo through Europe starting in may, and this thread has freaked me out, lol
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Old 03-25-2007, 12:30 PM   #15
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Quote:
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Im doing 12months solo through Europe starting in may, and this thread has freaked me out, lol
You should be good to go, I think it is tougher to start in the off season. You will just have to remember that after summer is over the hostels will start to empty out and it may be less social. That said, I had a pretty good time last winter and met tons of people. The upside I was able to get the hostels I wanted almost every night.

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Old 03-25-2007, 12:50 PM   #16
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You should be good to go, I think it is tougher to start in the off season. You will just have to remember that after summer is over the hostels will start to empty out and it may be less social. That said, I had a pretty good time last winter and met tons of people. The upside I was able to get the hostels I wanted almost every night.

--Joey
Oh, and if you're just "starting" in Europe, hotter places, like the Middle East were packed in the off season, so you might want to consider backpacker migration patterns to keep yourself company!
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Old 03-26-2007, 06:25 PM   #17
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Quote:
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Oh, and if you're just "starting" in Europe, hotter places, like the Middle East were packed in the off season, so you might want to consider backpacker migration patterns to keep yourself company!
Good point, in January Southern Spain was still pretty active (where I started)

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Old 05-29-2007, 03:24 PM   #18
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Getting into solo traveling should not take too long. Staying in hostels helps enourmously and always look for the word friendly in the guide books!
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