I just found out that my friend died..we knew each other for 7 years..I was her best friend but she wasn't really mine!!
She slept with my ex and I guess I never really forgave her. I wouldn't answer the phone when she called me and when she e-mailed me it would take me weeks to respond. I just found out she died and had written about me in her diary about if i still wanted to be her friend. I feel like a big shit..I am a really horrible person. Omg, I don't even wanna go on my trip anymore..I was so self-obsorbed..thats all i thought about.
What can I do.I feel like a big piece of shit!!
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Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday!!
First off, my condolensces. It's never good to lose anyone, a friend or otherwise.
Second, you're not a horrible person. For having even written what you did, it shows that you're a person of conscience. So quit thinking that It's very natural and normal to have feelings of guilt when someone you're close to has passed on, but you shouldn't let that color how you grieve and how you view yourself for the rest of your life...
__________________ ¿Donde esta Omid? Omi-san wa doko desuka? Ou est Omid? Wo ist Omid?
You didn't do anything wrong. It's not like you knew what would happen and you had those feelings for a valid reason. Perhaps you would have talked to her more had you known this would happen, but you didn't, so there's nothing you can do now.
Forgive yourself and take the time to mourn. You're not selfish and you should still travel.
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~~ Jamie ~~
You give me the most gorgeous sleep That I've ever had And when it's really bad I guess it's not that bad
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I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope the shock has started to wear off a bit.
I hope you can eventually take comfort in the fact that, given she still wished to have a relationship with you, she did not think of you nearly as bad as you are thinking of yourself. From experience, I appreciate how wretched you can feel when somebody dies when you have something unresolved with them. It can only get easier.
I hope you have started thinking positively of your trip again - you should never feel guilty for trying to make the most of your life. The fact that you feel remorse should tell you that you are not a horrible person.
It's very natural and normal to have feelings of guilt when someone you're close to has passed on, but you shouldn't let that color how you grieve and how you view yourself for the rest of your life...
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