Help me get rid of my travel partner... - TravelPUNK Backpacker College Student Budget Travel Message Boards!

snowball1982 · 10-18-2008, 10:49 AM

OK;
So I am currently in Morocco and have been travelling with this Canadian girl I met. We have been travelling for a week and had plans to do a loop of Spain Morocco and Portugal. The problem is that I cannot stand her.

On paper we seem to be compatible, but I cannot stand her personality. Already in Spain we had one fight which resulted in her storming away in a grocery store. She flew from London to meet me in Spain, a big committement, and now in Morroco I cannot just leave her...

The problem is is that she is completely Prissy, stuck up, vain, and selfish. She brought a fucken hairdryer, curler, and 2 or 3 kilos of expensive cosmetics and soaps with her. She takes forever to get ready, often compromising our plans so she can get ready. Checks her makeup all the time and has a smug attitude. We fought because I refused to drive our rental car two hours so her clothes would not get wet. After she had a fit, I compromised. She is manipulative, selfish, and I do not like her. Yet I think she is OK with me. She flew to meet me on the premise that we would spend 3 weeks travelling until North Spain and then split up. Now I am contemplqting ditching her NOW, but my concsious will not allow it. I may have to tough it out untill a week from now when we reenter spain. PLEASE HELP.....

**mermaidnz** · 10-18-2008, 11:09 AM

shes ruining your trip. ditch the diva now before she gets preggers and ruins your life too.

lol

ok. seriously, just tell her. sit down and have it out with her... say your not suited as travel partners, but your suited as friends. if she doesnt know how your feeling how is she supposed to change her ways?

**Diorama** · 10-18-2008, 12:33 PM

oh man i feel your pain... i have sooo been there before. The first time that happened to me I was in Fiji. I remember making some excuse about having to check my email and then i ran to our shared hotel room and packed up quickly and bailed. Do I feel bad? Yes, but it was soooooo nice to be free of him! I was walking on egg shells though the rest of my trip because I always thought I would run into him. But luckily I had a good idea of his itinerary so I tried to avoid his path.

Well are you guys initially travelling together because she was scared to go solo? Leaving her in Morrocco may be a lil harsh , but when you get to portugal I think you should make the jump. Seriously your memories of your trip are in jeopardy. Have a few beers before you tell her. Liquid Courage!

**Elizabeth** · 10-18-2008, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snowball1982

She brought a fucken hairdryer, curler, and 2 or 3 kilos of expensive cosmetics and soaps with her.

Please never look in my backpack

I say ditch...you don't wanna be this guy!

snowball1982 · 10-18-2008, 03:24 PM

Haha Liz, she is something like this cartoon. She does have some redeeming qualities, but I find after prolonged exposure I just get angry. Finding places to eat is almost impossible. After holding a cat, she complained about needing to wash her shorts because of the cat hair... hello... we are in Afrika, we are lucky to have hot showers. The highlight of the trip to the medinas was that she really liked the scarf she bought and some nice skin cream. Ughhhh, its just a mismatch of personalities. I can be militant, hardnosed and such... but like I told her "I am a backpacker, are you?". Apparently I am demanding and inconsiderate, but alas...
It would be terrible to ditch a woman in Morocco and I do not think that I could ditch someone in general... its just too cruel. But she speaks of travelling once back in Europe, and I am not sure when to burst her bubble. On one hand, if I let her know now it would be easier for her to prepare. On the other hand, I would have to be with her for up to 7-10 days with her knowing I am ditching her. What should I do? Anyone anyone ?

**mish99** · 10-18-2008, 03:57 PM

I had planned to spend spend 2 weeks travelling Italy with a friend and his cousin, but after 1 day in Rome together I knew I had to get away from them! My friends cousin was an ass!!

He was totally ruining my trip and thought it wasnt worth it, so just said straight to them (after a while of tryin to build up the courage) that I was departing from them. They were stunned and just said ok. I think it would have been better for me to explain that I wasnt havnt a good time with them (however harsh that may sound) but only explained after the trip. I ended up having a BLAST on my own.

By the sounds of this girl, she may be even worse after you tell her and then still have to travel with her!! I suggest you tell her after morroco, she will be fine in Europe alone, and as we all know hostels are a great way to meet people so she will be alright!!

Good luck with this, I feel your pain, but its totally worth departing from awful travel partners! If you didnt it would be a wasted trip because you wont enjoy it.

**Esterina** · 10-18-2008, 04:13 PM

Even years later, I still have very bad memories of the days I spent with a bad travel partner. It is not like those difficult moments that make the best stories once you're home, nah you need to free yourself as soon as possible !

You could simply say that you feel the need to travel alone again, for the backpacking experience of it; either give her time to find a new travel buddy, or say you'll wait until you're out of Morroco to split directions.

Good luck !

Rhine · 10-18-2008, 04:54 PM

send her my way

**mollymore** · 10-18-2008, 04:59 PM

you're under no obligation. I was in morocco alone, it's wasn't that bad. do what you need to do to have a good time. tell her it's not working out and that you're making other plans, then take off. it's not worth it to stick around

Molly

**simply_angelic** · 10-18-2008, 05:32 PM

Just leave man, you're not going to see her for the rest of your life so honestly, who cares? You could always spur of the moment change where you want to go and just say "hey why dont you continue the way we planned" or talk to her and say that you can still travel together but go your sepereate ways during the day so that she doesnt drag you down, you know?

**travelchick75** · 10-18-2008, 06:20 PM

Keane Keane Keane, Did you learn nothing about my experiences with Davis in Europe? Ditch. And Ditch now . Trust me it does NOT get better!

**maracle** · 10-18-2008, 08:31 PM

I think rachel was spot on, just tell her what's driving you crazy. You'll either work it out to a more tolerable situation, or get in a huge fight and it'll be easy to mutually agree that you should go your separate ways.

I traveled with this girl for a week in Peru, and a few things about her began to annoy me. But, I knew when we were going to separate so I just kept quiet. Still, I think had I just said something we would have been able to adjust and have a good time even if we were going to continue on for weeks.

dudeman · 10-20-2008, 03:20 PM

leave a note saying you have been kidnapped, or make up the weirdest excuse you can just make it interesting. Seriously though, just tell her you have different views and need to go your own way. Your a bigger person than I am for sticking it out this far.

snowball1982 · 10-20-2008, 06:00 PM

Ack,
I tried tonight without much luck. I do have some family crisis happening and I said after Morocco I want to quit travelling and stay put or head back to Canada. We are actually getting along well now, but I would still like to go solo.... The problem is I think that she is starting to 'like' me... yes, in that way. I do actually have some family stuff that may require me back in Canada, either that or else get an apartment in Europe bc I am burnt out. But she seems quit eager to stay with me, even to support me in my time of need (nice thought). I guess sometimes I cannot be a hardass. I may have been doing some projecting on her, somewhat annoying tendencies with my non-enthusiasim for further travel, etc....

I guess I want a home again soon! But I would like some time to myself... ughhh. Thinking Czech, East Germany or Slovakia to get an Apt and maybe teach english???

**Elizabeth** · 10-20-2008, 07:02 PM

i think everyone figured you guys already 'liked' each other - what were the redeeming qualities that made you agree to go with her in the first place?

Maybe try Poland. I know a guy who I think just got a job in Poznan. Its a great country. I have also heard good things about teaching English in Budapest. I understand the need to just stop and rest for a while.

**joe7f** · 10-21-2008, 02:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snowball1982

... or else get an apartment in Europe bc I am burnt out. [...] I may have been doing some projecting on her, somewhat annoying tendencies with my non-enthusiasim for further travel, etc....

I guess I want a home again soon! But I would like some time to myself... ughhh. Thinking Czech, East Germany or Slovakia to get an Apt and maybe teach english???

There is no place like home but there is also no place like home away from home. When I grew weary of traveling was when I left my quasi permanent digs. Changing cities every few days gets to everyone. I met a guy from Texas who arrived in Seville and said "You know, I just don't care if I see any of the sights in the city". Being that it was winter there were still a few summer Eurotrippers left in the backpacking circuit that were equally burnt out.

Anecdotally, my first trip I got my burned out feeling after 6 weeks on the road. Recently I was in Spain for months but it was the 6 weeks on the road afterwards that got me ready to come home.

--Joey

**raoulduke** · 10-21-2008, 05:21 AM

I didn't burn out until about 2.5 months into my trip when I was in Vienna. I cured it my drinking huge amounts of cheap vodka, sleeping until 4pm then doing it all again. After 3 days of doing this I had killed the appropriate brain cells and was good as new.

I'd second Poland for a place to chill out (or party extra hard in my case) Definitely get somewhere cheap where it's not going to cost you much. Also if you stick with this girl when you're just chillin you might get along better without the stress of moving around constantly. At the very least it'll give you time to plan your next move.

SGRHewitt · 10-21-2008, 10:35 AM

Honestly I would pack my stuff at 3am... And get the hell out.

Nothing brings me down more than a bad travel partner. Had that happen in Rome. We went our own ways for the rest of the trip for the most part. Although I didn't ditch him because we were taking classes in London so it would've been no use.

I hate confrontation, so if it were me. I'd peace out. If she can't travel on her own, then she shouldn't be backpacking in my opinion.

**travelchick75** · 10-21-2008, 06:47 PM

I woudl pack my stuff as well. It is only afgter i have been talking to davis that i can= stand him now. You know what happened. She is not your crutch and dont make her out to be. If you need to be alone tell her. If you need to be with her , tell her but dont string her along for the love of God that only complicates shit. pehaps i shlud not be typing as i've had 2 and a 1/2 quarts of vodka but still! Come on now this is ont rocket science either you do ro you dont you need to tell this poor girl either way God i love vodka. And I love my friends I love halifax and I love TPUNK!! :D

SGRHewitt · 10-21-2008, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by travelchick75

I woudl pack my stuff as well. It is only afgter i have been talking to davis that i can= stand him now. You know what happened. She is not your crutch and dont make her out to be. If you need to be alone tell her. If you need to be with her , tell her but dont string her along for the love of God that only complicates shit. pehaps i shlud not be typing as i've had 2 and a 1/2 quarts of vodka but still! Come on now this is ont rocket science either you do ro you dont you need to tell this poor girl either way God i love vodka. And I love my friends I love halifax and I love TPUNK!! :D

+1 to vodka