brothers on drugs and suicidal - Page 2 - TravelPUNK Backpacker College Student Budget Travel Message Boards!

**The Monsignor** · 08-25-2005, 06:02 AM

A little insight for you, so maybe you can know what to expect with your brother.

You can commit someone in the U.S. if they are a danger to themselves or others. Suicidal statements and gestures / attempts are definitely a reason to commit someone.

The sad truth of it is, however, that you will be unlikely to keep him in long-term unless your mom has health insurance that will cover rehab.

Rehab itself is usually only successful if the person has a serious desire to clean up. This sort of decision to clean up is usually only sparked by a "significant emotional event" (rehab term), such as a serious car accident, jail time, hitting rock bottom or an intevention by family/friends/loved ones that demonstrates to the addict that his/her behavior is destroying those around them, and that if he wishes to continue to have a relationship with those he loves, the drugs/drinking has to go! (this is the "Tough Love" method)

If a person is into heavier drugs, such as cocaine or heroin, the problem becomes worse after 'drying out'. These types of drugs mess with the neurotransmitters in your brain that normally are only released in small amounts during pleasure/happy events. When the drugs hit the system they increase the amount of 'happy juice' in your brain way beyond the levels that would occur under most circumstances. When you have been doing these drugs for a while, you're already used to these elevated 'juice' levels. After you come off, and the levels return to normal, things that you would normally take pleasure in - relationships, activities, recreation, sex, whatever - no longer give you the same pleasure anymore. The person tends to fall into depression because of it. It is often many years before things can return to anything resembling normal, and in the meantime, there's always the danger of returning to the drugs, cause nothing feels as good as getting their fix!

There is no 'quick fix' for this, and often times, people who mean well wind up helping the person stay on the drugs (by protecting them from the consequences of their own behavior) - They call them 'enablers', because they enable the addict to continue with their habit.

I highly recommend that you and your mom also seek help, so that you guys are better informed about what is happening with your brother, and get some tools to help you guys cope with what's going on in his (and your) lives!

Narcotics anonymous is a good source, and I'm certain if you look further, there are some other (less overtly religious) resources to help you guys with this.

Last, but not least, suicidal threats or gestures are to be taken seriously! Often, after an initial attempt, or gesture (where someone may have intervened), there is a period of about 30-60 days where the person seems to be recovering and gets better. During that time, they often have a relapse into depression that comes on suddenly. If they're doing drugs or alcohol, they are very likely to attempt suicide again (and succeed)

If someone is making those kinds of statements, gives possessions away, withdraws from their friends and family, suddenly expresses a desire to acquire weapons, or makes statements/drawings/gestures like they don't think they'll be around for long, or wish to harm themselves, you need to ask direct questions! Are you thinking of harming yourself? Do you wish to commit suicide? Ignoring it will not make it go away (75% of all suicide victims communicated their intent prior to acting on it). If they are thinking about killing themselves, they need immediate help! There are community resources for suicide prevention, and, as a last resort, you can take them to the hospital, where they can be committed if they pose a danger to themselves or others.

Good luck, you're in a rough spot... don't try to go it alone, get some help from the groups I mentioned!

**kingcrazylegs** · 08-25-2005, 11:45 AM

^ well said.

I've dealt with friends or family going in and out of rehab many times - it sucks. But like The Monsignor they really have to want it.

**benna2** · 08-25-2005, 01:07 PM

The good thing about living in Canada is that the rehab program is paid for by the Government. Which can be looked at as a good thing or a bad thing, depends on which way you look at it.

My brother had an interview at a really good rehab facility, it is a 3 month program and apparently has a great reputation for helping people. They have a very long waiting list to get in, but somehow my parents got my brother an interview. He was only in there for about five minutes before the director came out and told my parents he was wasting her time. She said that there is a waiting list a mile long of people who actually want help...and my brother flat out told her that he has absolutely no interest in hearing what she or anyone else there has to say. So the asshole blew it. And I am at my wits end when it comes to him. It may sound really harsh and like I am turning my back on my brother. But I think our family can only take so much from him. I see people die of horrible diseases like cancer...people who would love to live long and healthy lives. And then there are people like my brother who just throws his perfectly healthy life away for drugs and alcohol. I was just talking to my mom on the phone and she feels the same way. It's sad but there is only so much everyone else can do....the rest is up to him.

So basically, I don't see a happy ending for my brother at this time....either he is going to hit rock bottom and commit suicide, or he is going to overdose on drugs. And he really has absolutely no one to blame but himself. Our family has done everything we can to help him but now it is up to the kid himself.

Again...I don't mean to sound harsh. Anyone who has met me on these boards knows that I am not like that. But maybe I am just really frustrated right now.

**kingcrazylegs** · 08-25-2005, 03:26 PM

People have to figure things out for themselves, and it sounds like he is just not ready to do that now. You have every right to be frustrated. You just have to find a way not to take it personal, and hope that he will in the end get it all figured out.

**The Monsignor** · 08-26-2005, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by benna2@Aug 25 2005, 01:07 PM

So basically, I don't see a happy ending for my brother at this time....either he is going to hit rock bottom and commit suicide, or he is going to overdose on drugs. And he really has absolutely no one to blame but himself. Our family has done everything we can to help him but now it is up to the kid himself.*
Again...I don't mean to sound harsh. Anyone who has met me on these boards knows that I am not like that. But maybe I am just really frustrated right now.

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And that's probably the only thing you can offer him, in his situation. The fact is, you have to start living your own life, and let him figure out the error of his on his own. Stick to your guns, cause if he manages to alienate everyone, he might just see the light and get himself some help.