'Britney and Kevin: Chaotic'' - TravelPUNK Backpacker College Student Budget Travel Message Boards!

**voyd** · 07-13-2005, 09:54 AM

I have never watched this show nor ever care to...but this critic is sho' one FUNNY MVTHAFVCKA! Damn, this piece is chock-full of golden 1-liners after another! Lmfao! Uh, I think HE needs his own damn show!

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Which came first, the chicken or the moron?

And yet here it is, laid out on tape by Brit as if she were assuming that future generations will someday pore over it as an artifact of the Greatest Love of All, rather than the short-lived pop-culture blip that it is, the romantic equivalent of the Macarena.

Aren't young girls Britney's main fan base? For her whole career, she has been playing a weird game where she gets onstage and humps a python while wearing outfits that come one nipple ring short of full-frontal nudity, but then gets offstage and plays the wholesome naïf as her rubber corset dries.

**LiveFreeorDie** · 07-13-2005, 10:16 AM

I like this nugget:

Us magazine has a regular feature called ''Stars: They're Just Like Us.'' This show could be called ''Stars: They're Just Like You, Except Nowhere Near As Smart, But They've Got So Much Money It Doesn't Matter, So Just Sit There and Hate Your Hard-Working Life As They Spend Twice Your Weekly Paycheck on a Solid-Gold Key Chain That They'll Leave in a Bathroom the Next Day and Forget They Ever Bought.''

and this one.......

that her love for Kevin is the classic fairy tale: Man meets woman in VIP area of club, woman summons unemployed, undershirt-wearing man to her European tour, woman bangs man three times in one day and gets a TV show to tell the world. Gosh, it's just like Snow White, only instead of the prince waking Snow White up with a kiss, he gives her beard burn. At one point, Britney drives while listening to the Peggy Lee song ''Is That All There Is?'' Oddly, I had been humming the same song for the whole hour.

Classic.

**omisan** · 07-13-2005, 10:29 AM

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Let's take the moment when she focused the camera on her knees and said, ''They look just like boobs. But they're not. They're my knees!'' and then shrieked with laughter.

Sounds like something Chris Griffin would say...

**elfmaiden** · 07-13-2005, 11:00 AM

My sister forced me to watch this when it first came out and it wasn't because we were excited about Britney. We watched for 10 minutes before we became so stupified we had to turn off the TV!!!!

I am at a loss for words on how to describe how horrible bad this all is....I weep for my TV.

Jenn

**IDDQD** · 07-13-2005, 11:12 AM

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where she gets onstage and humps a python

ahahahahahahahaha.....

....ahahahahahahaha

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Milk, milk, lemonade, round the corner, fudge is made

well said!

This article confirms exactly what I suspected of her.

**LaurieL622** · 07-13-2005, 11:13 AM

i almost peed myself laughing. thanks for the entertainment voyd.

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For her whole career, she has been playing a weird game where she gets onstage and humps a python while wearing outfits that come one nipple ring short of full-frontal nudity, but then gets offstage and plays the wholesome naïf as her rubber corset dries. Does she now think that because she's 23 and married now, she no longer needs to pretend to be anything but a cigarette-puffing good-time girl who can't wait for her next Federhump?

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And yet what Britney considers an untouchable love affair has an expiration date stamped all over it. Any time you hear someone describe true love in the exact way that Molly Ringwald did in Sixteen Candles, it's fair to assume it won't last

**GoKrazy** · 07-13-2005, 01:22 PM

It scares me that there are people out therer who actually make it a point to watch that show and follow it religiously...

**SuDz** · 07-13-2005, 04:49 PM

My two favorite lines are when they mention Her fan base as

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14-year-old daughters and sexually confused sons

And my second favorite regarding the knees or Boobs part is

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And yet, Tom Hanks probably gets his ass kissed wherever he goes, but you don't see him making a TV show where he plays the game ''Earlobes or testicles?''

The second one is the best but both of those lines were great.

SuDZ

**juliagulia** · 07-13-2005, 05:24 PM

I had no respect for Britney Spears before the show. And after the show, i don't think she can ever redeem herself. She could find the cure for AIDS, Cancer and Down-Syndrome, and I will always say, "No. Her show sucked. She lost all respect from me."

i was talking to my sister's cousin, and she said, "Oh my God! I love Chaotic! I have a totally new respect for her since that show!" ...................

....

WTF?!?!!?

No THAT girl is sick in the head.

**MolsonGirl** · 07-13-2005, 07:20 PM

I think people watched that stupid show cause it was like an hour long unedited equivelent to the "best of the Jessica Simpson's stupidest moments"... we all know that's the only reason people watch Newlyweds, I think it's the same here.

xanthuos · 07-13-2005, 07:43 PM

I love Britney! Ever since her first single, "Hit Me Baby One More Time," came out, I've been THE BIGGEST FAN! She's so talented, and so versatile because not only is she a singer, but an actress too! I have the DVD of Crossroads and I almost wore it out because I watch it so much. Britney is the best entertainer out there, and I'm so glad she's found love with Kevin. She deserves everything she has. And all of what I've said is complete and utter bulls&%t.