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Old 05-15-2004, 02:53 AM   #1
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So here it is. MY best friend lives a few hundred yards from me. I have known him for the past 8 years...the longest I have ever known anyone who is not family. He has lived in the same place his entire life and has no dreams of leaving. I have moved 14 times in 23 years of my life....Mind you, all 14 times were in So Cali, so I am not experienced in living in other parts of the world

Anyway, this buddy had a son about 9 months ago, I was going to be the godfather till a few things got in the way. I love his girlfriend, I've known her for 3 years, as long as he has, and they're a perfect match, as dysfunctional as they are.

Here it is though. They are both really bitter that I'm leaving on this trip and probably more after this trip. We have completely different views of the world and this is where the problem arises. I really would love to be there for my "nephew" as he grows up, but the reality is that I probably won't be. Even if I stayed in the country, it wouldn't be here.

I dunno what this post is really about. I guess I want to have my cake and eat it too. I know that in order to be happy in my life, I need to take care of myself and my dreams, but I have had it beaten into me to care about other people as much as I care about myself.

I don't expect any answers out of this post, I just wonder if someone has gone through something similar. What do we give up by leaving what we know and love at home?? Most of us are temporary travellers but I see this as a lifestyle, not a hobby.....I dunno, what do you think???
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Old 05-15-2004, 04:30 AM   #2
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Indeed, they sound pretty close-minded. If they chose you as godfather is b/c of who you are, and your desire for travel is part of who you are. Take it or leave it, that's what I would say!

For the more, I know of plenty of god-parent relationships that are long distance. Also, they should be rejoicing at the fact that you'll be travelling, b/c then you'll be bringing a broader view of the world to his kid, unless of course, they want their kid to be as close minded as they are...
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Old 05-15-2004, 06:05 AM   #3
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Well put Carisia! Tons of godparents live hundreds of miles away. I even know some who have only met their godparents like once or twice. The whole point in a godparent is just in case the real parents die! Not to look after the kid yourself! But do what you want to do...don't put your life on hold though.
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Old 05-15-2004, 08:07 AM   #4
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A true friend should always be there to support you in your life decisions, and help you when you fail. Unless you are going to do something extreme they shouldn't interfere with your decision.

If they valued their friendship with you they wouldn't put so much unnecessary stress on it. I would say a good talk is in line. But I would go for the travelling, if they decide that you aren't worthy of friendship then that is just a mark of failure they will have to live with.
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Old 05-15-2004, 12:25 PM   #5
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All very good points you guys. I can't decide whether to feel more sorry for them that they can't afford to experience the world or that they don't want to. I dunno, I do really want to be a big part of this kids life, if for no other reason than to teach him to dream bigger than his parents do.

I think within this problem lies a fundamental American(read:capitalist) dilema. I'm not a proponent of socialism although I like some of the things that Marx had to say, but in a truly capitalist society like we are, everything is run by the desire and necessity to make money. THis is where my friend is stuck at the moment. His singular vision in his life is to work himself to the bone so he can provide any creature comforts that are possible for his family. It's too bad

Hey that gives me an idea.....Maybe I can be the cool uncle who flies in to take his nephew on trips and spoil him in a cerebral way. Take him camping, and to museums, and stuff like that that his parents won't do. Hey that sounds like a good idea. As screwed up as Los Angeles is, it is a cultural mecca if you're willing to peel through the ugly layers.

Hear's to spoiling other people's kids....woo hoo
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Old 05-15-2004, 12:38 PM   #6
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Sounds like a great idea JW!!! I agree with what they all said.... don't stop your dreams b/c of others or you will never be happy!!! Not having money is one thing but not having dreams now that really is sad!!!!
You sound as if you have it taken care of though!!!
The cool uncle is the way to go!!!!!
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Old 05-19-2004, 05:06 PM   #7
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Most of my friends could care less what the rest of the world is like, they are happy here and thats good enough for them, they think that all this money I spend on travel is nuts, and that i should be "investing" it better, pay my morgage, buy a nice car, buy a big TV, what ever...really i could care less about any of thos ethings...and for that they think i am crazy...But i know that by going around th world, and meeting people, and experiencing other cultures i makes me a better person here, more educated than any book could ever make me, I am more tolerent with the multi cultural city i live in, and I have memories that will go with me to my grave.
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Old 05-20-2004, 11:21 AM   #8
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i think they're just jealous... especially since they have a kid - it's over for them now. no chance to recover. there life is laid out on a platter for them - no wonder, no suprise around the next corner... well, hardly.
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Old 05-20-2004, 11:24 AM   #9
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god, i feel quite lucky now - sorry to gain that through your troubles... but damn, all my friends are travellers. there was only one that needed a nudge, and i'm devirginizing her this august in thailand, i know she'll be hooked after that. i take so many thing for granted. silly girl.
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